Leap


 LEAP
 
 Poems By Jacob Garbarino
 
 
 Dedicated to:
 Every Dreamer Out There
 
 
 “What’s in the way, is the way”
 
 
 In a life where I am on a constant journey within myself, I’ve come so far on the feet that I had to learn to use when I came into this world. All the self-doubt that I allowed to crush my spirit when others expressed how much I had to offer; running from the very same passions that placed smiles across my face.
 I now understand the journey that must be taken and ready myself for the battles that will present themselves. This is the path that I have chosen for myself, leaving only myself to do something about the way it ends, my life is about focus and focusing on what needs to be done to write a story worth telling.
 I must become so focused on change and becoming the person that is needed to walk this path. In a life where we’ve all suffered and doubted our own abilities, I must show myself what surpassing negative thoughts and creating beauty within myself looks like.
 
 
 Table of Contents
 
 Gilligan, Tattered Rose, Atrocity, Dear Island, Depth, Hopeless Romantic, Tragic Harmonies, Living Space, The Curtain, Tailored, Un-Pleasure, Body of Water, The First and the Last, Harness, Petals, Scars, Shia LeBeouf, Nebula, Mother, Looking Glass, Atrocity Uprising, Samurai I, Hi,, Father, Hair I, Milo, Fine Wine, Love, Her Lips, Hair II, This is a “I’ll Actually Try to Write a Love Poem” Poem, Murals, The Voice of An Underachiever, Sunshine Morning, The Page Thinks…, Exhibit, Kain Carter, 88 Keys, Hip-Hop Saved My Life, Corpse, Few Good Things, Photographs, To My Closest of Friends, Lake Charles, Reality, Samurai II (Ronin), Chapters, Atrocity Paradise, Orizuzu
 
 
 Gilligan
 Home is meant for me 
 Floating in Limbo; Seeking 
 Purposeful Heathen
 
 
 
 Tattered Rose
 In the Olive Garden parking lot after giving, you the heads up 
 About the rumor at work that we liked each other
 You responded, “But we don’t though”
 When I admitted fondness and chuckled at your naivete 
 Your face became a scene of confusion
 I was known as the “work flirt”
 As everyone else became pigeon-like bystanders perched in anticipation
 That I would turn beast: rip the ring off your finger, devour you to my liking, and pick my teeth clean of you
 Leaving your engagement, a scene of mutilated happiness, while heathens would graffiti over any sign of love
 But only after a couple of weeks, you knew me better than any of them did
 You knew multiple stories from my teenage years and personal insecurities you learned from my poetry
 We even had an inside joke that the first thing that always came out of my mouth was a lie
 And I could tell you had a bad day if you were missing eyelashes
 It’s something no one else would’ve noticed but for me it was beauty rendered with pain until they grew back
 In the thirty minutes that we were out there the conversation transitioned
 From figuring out how we could hangout but not give off the wrong vibes to more personal stories
 You were one of the goofiest girls I had ever met, and we felt like best friends
 You were the female version of me
 Not long into our heart-to-hearts you admitted that you liked me too
 You being a god-fearing engaged woman, you were in the wrong place
 And that’s when the bombshell dropped
 You had veered off from your relationship before and it was very traumatic
 Even with you learning from your past mistakes you still couldn’t figure out why you wanted to kiss me
 As much as I wanted to, I made us promise that it wouldn’t happen for the sake of your health
 We had to catch ourselves as occasionally we got very close, and we goofed off some more
 I even sang the few lyrics to “American Honey” that I knew
 The night got older and both of us stated that we didn’t want to leave
 You began hate yourself because the last time this happened you should have left but you didn’t
 And you knew your fiancé trusted you but, in that moment, you didn’t trust yourself
 We would spend eight hours in the parking lot that night only with the irony of the sunlight being our curfew
 The next night we were out there was just like before
 That parking lot became a playground where we could be ourselves 
 And neither one of us judged the other and we really felt like kids again
 Your smile became monkey bars, a passage to my happiness
 I restrained from making flirty passes but there was just one thing on my mind, and I needed answers
 I broke down and laid puddles at my feet as I admitted after the first night, I felt nothing, but bliss and I wanted to tell everyone about you
 And how I even took a two-hour road trip with my brother just to tell him all about you
 And I couldn’t listen to American Honey without picturing you in every line
 For a girl I’ve only known for a couple of weeks this was all new to me
 I felt insane and quite embarrassed for falling for a taken woman so fast
 And I just had to know I wasn’t the only one thinking about the other all day
 You knew you should’ve just lied right there, but we had been so honest to each other
 You said when you got home, I was all you thought about and you were singing American Honey all day
 Together we decided to burn the feelings with ether and watch the ashes flow away in the wind
 And as you began to pull away and the euphoria faded
 I was too far gone, my heart clawed desperately for any sign that you still