Pity Date

PITY DATE WHITNEY DINEEN This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, locales, and situations are the work of the author’s overactive imagination and the voices in her head. Any resemblance to people living or dead, events, etc., is purely coincidental. And I don’t mean maybe. Copyright © by Whitney Dineen in 2023; all rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, copied, scanned, photographed, or distributed in print or electronic form without express permission of the author. But let’s face it, if you love it, she’ll probably let you share small portions. You still have to contact her first. Made in the United States. May, 2023 Print ISBN: 979-8-391681-16-8 E-book ISBN: 978-1-988891-76-7 https://whitneydineen.com/newsletter/ 33 Partners Publishing ALSO BY WHITNEY DINEEN Pity Series Pity Date Pity Party (Coming Soon) The Mimi Chronicles The Reinvention of Mimi Finnegan Mimi Plus Two Kindred Spirits Relatively Series Relatively Normal Relatively Sane Relatively Happy Creek Water Series The Event The Move The Plan The Dream Seven Brides for Seven Mothers Series Love is a Battlefield Ain't She Sweet It's My Party You’re So Vain Head Over Feet Queen of Hearts At Last She Sins at Midnight Going Up? Love for Sale The Accidentally in Love Series (with Melanie Summers) Text Me on Tuesday The Text God Text Wars Text in Show Mistle Text Text and Confused A Gamble on Love Mom-Com Series (with Melanie Summers) No Ordinary Hate A Hate Like This Hate, Rinse, Repeat (Coming soon) Conspiracy Thriller See No More Non-Fiction Humor Motherhood, Martyrdom & Costco Runs Middle Reader Wilhelmina and the Willamette Wig Factory Who the Heck is Harvey Stingle? Children’s Books The Friendship Bench CONTENTS Gratitude Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37 Chapter 38 Chapter 39 Chapter 40 Chapter 41 Chapter 42 Chapter 43 Chapter 44 Chapter 45 Chapter 46 Chapter 47 Chapter 48 Chapter 49 Chapter 50 Epilogue Note from the Author Coming Soon: Pity Party Available Now: The Event About the Author GRATITUDE Being an author is my dream job. Seriously, it’s right up there with french fry tester—and being that no one has approached me for that one, I’m pretty content where I’m at. However, authoring is not a solo endeavor. A book is only as good as its editor, proofreaders, and team of people who believe in it. An author is only successful if they have a posse of loving and dedicated friends. I raise my champagne flute to the following people: Kristina Walker, who left her fancy Hollywood life behind to move to my town so we could take over the free world together. An added bonus is getting to sit with me and spend lovely afternoons trying to figure out what my books are going to be about. Pity Date was our first. My daughters Faith and Anna, for whom my dynamic duo characters are named. Faith helped me plot and Anna read early pages and offered encouraging words of support. Also, thank you to my niece Esmé for letting me borrow her name. Cheers to my loving husband, Jimmy. You are my rock! Paula Bothwell is the first pair of professional eyes to see my books. She not only tackles grammar Pity Date is dedicated to everyone who brought my all-time favorite romcoms to life. A special nod to Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant who starred in most of them. PROLOGUE FAITH I’ve had an invisible target painted on me that only members of the opposite sex can see. And boy are they determined to shoot me through the heart. It started with Bobby McEntire in the first grade. My best friend, Anna, used to help me chase him around the playground as a way of declaring my undying devotion. He missed the point entirely and tripped me so that I fell face first into a mud puddle. That single act of war ended any love I’d once felt for him. In the fourth grade, Kenny Franks caught my eye. He wasn’t the typical boy girls pined for, which made me think he could possibly share my feelings. He had moderately bucked teeth, a nose that turned up just enough to appear porcine, and he wore glasses. Surely, I was enough to catch the heart of one such as him. Alas, when I asked him to be my boyfriend on Sadie Hawkins Day that same year, he laughed in my face. Laughed. At me. The