Swallow Your Pride

SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE THE CARLSON BROTHERS BOOK ONE SARAH BLUE Copyright © 2023 by Sarah Blue All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. Cover by @maldodesigns Editing @ bookendseditingservices Created with Vellum CONTENTS Spotify Playlist Content Message 1. A Funeral, a Douchebag, and a Job Offer 2. Everyone Knows 3. Dead People Can Be Annoying 4. Liquid Courage 5. Sex Clubs & Daddy Issues 6. Baseball Bat Dicks 7. Kissing Pretty Girl’s Fingers 8. White T-Shirts and Red Bras 9. You’re Not My Daddy Anymore 10. I Want This 11. Daddy Kink 101 12. Give Daddy a Kiss 13. I Want To Make You Feel Good Too 14. Check Please 15. I Think We’re Best Friends 16. Why Wasn’t I an Only Child? 17. Supply Closets Are For Breakdowns 18. I’m Her Daddy Now 19. Breaking Rules 20. Spanking Can Be Cathartic For Both Parties 21. Whiskey Joe’s 22. Butt Plugs and Wishlists 23. Cracked Trauma Eggs 24. Again, Why Couldn’t I Be An Only Child? 25. Motherly Hugs 26. Kissing In The Rain 27. Exposed 28. Where Did You Get This? 29. It’s Daddy’s Job 30. Butt Plug Graduation 31. Marry Me 32. Kitten 33. Epilogues Are For Lovers Acknowledgments About the Author Also by Sarah Blue SPOTIFY PLAYLIST Earned It – The Weeknd A Well Respected Man – The Kinks Fetish – Selena Gomez, Gucci Mane The Best I Ever Had – Limi Freak – Doja Cat Dirty Mind – Boy Epic I Wanna Be Yours – Arctic Monkeys Cola – Lana Del Ray Please Me – Cardi B, Bruno Mars Bulletproof – La Roux, GAMPER & DADONI Bad Habit – Steve Lacy Adore You – Harry Styles You Get Me So High – The Neighbourhood Applause – Lady Gaga golden hour – JVKE I Think I'm In Love – Kat Dahlia Electric Love – Børns Wildest Dreams – Taylor Swift Someone To You – Banners ily – Surf Mesa, Emilee CONTENT MESSAGE If you do not like the term daddy, now is your time to return to KU, put the kindle down, and walk away. We can both act like this never happened. If you’re a daddy's girl, then this book is for you. For a full list of content or triggers of this book, please visit my website. authorsarahblue.com/content-warnings/ For daddy… I mean Pedro Pascal. 1 A FUNERAL, A DOUCHEBAG, AND A JOB OFFER I met my dad on three occasions; the first was when I turned ten years old and my mother introduced us over moderately-priced food at our local Applebee’s. She was basically like, ‘hey, here’s this man who never knew you existed, his name is Collin and oh yeah, he’s your dad.’ The second was when I graduated college, he congratulated me and handed me a check for fifteen-thousand dollars and told me he was proud of me. This last time is morose, as I look down into the coffin and see the shell of the man he once was. To be completely honest, I don’t know why I’m here. My half-brother, Zach, invited me. Though I didn’t know I had a half-brother, until I received the invitation for the funeral. And by invitation, I mean a curt text message from an unknown number. I thought about not coming, Collin Kemper never meant much to me while he was alive, but now that he’s dead, it feels real. The concept of ever having a real connection or relationship with him isn’t even an option anymore. As much as I hate to admit it, I was hoping that finally having my father in my life was an option. There’s a reason I was already on my way down to Florida and it wasn’t just because I was running away from my life in Virginia—mostly. I thought I was running toward something, and that something is now in a casket. The realization that I’m an orphan sinks in at this moment—I know I’m twenty-five—can someone really be an orphan when they aren’t a child? But the fact is, half the time I’m floundering, I don’t know who decided I should have to pay bills, have responsibilities, and carry around crippling debt. Most of the time, I still feel like I’m eighteen and that I have all the time in the world to figure out who I’m supposed to be. Lately, it feels like I have no path or direction. I was hoping that coming here would help me figure out what I’m supposed to do, who I’m supposed to be. It’s this deep desire of wanting a connection that made me come today. Knowing that I have a half-brother—that I’m not alone. I suppose there was a need for closure too. Though, this isn’t what I had hoped for. I was hoping I’d come to Florida and be able to forge some sort of relationship from my estranged father, and now that I know he exists, a relationship with my half-sibling as well. I haven’t been able to speak to Zach yet, but as I briefly look into the coffin and walk to my seat, I seek him out. He’s speaking with an older woman who has a pinched expression. She’s blonde and pretty in her own way, but she looks tense. When I tilt my head, I can’t help but see certain comparisons between Zach and myself. We both have dark brown hair, brown eyes, and a similar olive tone to our skin, but so do about twenty other people in the room. I look down at the pamphlet for