The Adult

Contents Cover Title Page Copyright Contents Dedication Prologue Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-one Chapter Twenty-two Acknowledgments About the Author Landmarks Cover Cover Title Page Table of Contents Start Copyright Print Page List i ii iii iv v vi vii 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 PUBLISHED BY RANDOM HOUSE CANADA
 Copyright © 2023 Bronwyn Fischer
 All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review. Published in 2023 by Random House Canada, a division of Penguin Random House Canada Limited, Toronto. Distributed in Canada by Penguin Random House Canada Limited, Toronto.
 www.penguinrandomhouse.ca
 Random House Canada and colophon are registered trademarks.
 Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
 Title: The adult / Bronwyn Fischer.
 Names: Fischer, Bronwyn, author.
 Identifiers: Canadiana (print) 20220436215 | Canadiana (ebook) 2022043624X | ISBN 9781039003002 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781039002968 (EPUB)
 Classification: LCC PS8611.I7775 A78 2023 | DDC C813/.6—dc23
 Text design: Kate Sinclair, adapted for ebook
 Cover design: Kate Sinclair
 Image credits: Maria Orlova / pexels.com
 
 
 
 
 
 a_prh_6.0_143667513_c0_r0
 
 
 Contents
 
 Cover
 Title Page
 Copyright
 Dedication
 
 
 Prologue
 Chapter One
 Chapter Two
 Chapter Three
 Chapter Four
 Chapter Five
 Chapter Six
 Chapter Seven
 Chapter Eight
 Chapter Nine
 Chapter Ten
 Chapter Eleven
 Chapter Twelve
 Chapter Thirteen
 Chapter Fourteen
 Chapter Fifteen
 Chapter Sixteen
 Chapter Seventeen
 Chapter Eighteen
 Chapter Nineteen
 Chapter Twenty
 Chapter Twenty-one
 Chapter Twenty-two
 
 
 Acknowledgments
 About the Author
 
 
 
 
 For Emma, and for my parents.
 
 
 
 Soon, but not yet, Nora will look up and she will see me, sitting at a distance. In the wet grass, the imprints of Nora’s shoes will fill back slowly, and I won’t suspect that she is walking towards me.
 After Nora meets me on the bench, it will be difficult to recall that in the beginning there were moments so plain and unconsumed that I felt I could watch them like a distant view. Like hills rolling away.
 Once she holds out her hand and asks, Do you mind if I sit, no other memory will exist without brushing backwards or forwards over the moment her eyes looked down at me. The soft and penetrable skull of the world will suddenly harden and everything will be seen through the damp and wilful light of our first meeting.
 
 
 one
 At first, the trees behind the McKinnon dorm had looked like a real woods. The leaves were facing up as though it might rain. I stood by the bedroom window, my nose accidentally touching the glass, and I watched my parents walk down the path towards their car.
 On the drive, the car window hadn’t been shut all the way. The wind had buffeted as we drove, killed all conversation. My mother, a few times, looked over her shoulder at me. Arm pressing against the back of my father’s seat so that she could crane her neck to see. I wanted her to ask if I would be all right. I wanted her to turn to my father, say, “Are we really going to leave her?”—the beginning of a tearful conversation. But the next time my mother turned, she met my eyes and she mouthed, That’s making a lot of noise, and I realized, she hadn’t been looking back at me, but at the sound of the wind rushing by.
 
 —
 I felt like I’d had a terrible day even though I hadn’t. The day had been long, not terrible. But, being alone, everything I thought was true, so I thought, What a terrible day, and I sat in my room.
 My suitcase was still open. Before they’d left, my parents had made the bed for me. I thought of them pulling the sheets up,