The Boss of Everyone : The brand-new comedy adventure from the author of The Day the Screens Went Blank


 Contents
 
 Cover
 Title Page
 Dedication
 Chapter One
 Chapter Two
 Chapter Three
 Chapter Four
 Chapter Five
 Chapter Six
 Chapter Seven
 Chapter Eight
 Chapter Nine
 Chapter Ten
 Chapter Eleven
 Chapter Twelve
 Chapter Thirteen
 Chapter Fourteen
 Chapter Fifteen
 Chapter Sixteen
 Chapter Seventeen
 Chapter Eighteen
 Chapter Nineteen
 Chapter Twenty
 Chapter Twenty-One
 Chapter Twenty-Two
 Chapter Twenty-Three
 Chapter Twenty-Four
 Chapter Twenty-Five
 Chapter Twenty-Six
 Acknowledgments
 About the Author and Illustrator
 Copyright
 
 
 
 Guide
 
 Cover
 Start of Content
 Title Page
 Dedication
 Acknowledgments
 About the Author and Illustrator
 Copyright
 
 
 
 
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 The Boss of Everyone!
 Danny Wallace
 Author of bestselling The Day the Screens Went Blank
 Illustrated by Gemma Correll
 
 
 
 
 
 First published in Great Britain in 2023 by Simon & Schuster UK Ltd
 Text copyright © 2023 Danny Wallace
 Illustrations copyright © 2023 Gemma Correll
 This book is copyright under the Berne Convention.
 No reproduction without permission.
 All rights reserved.
 The right of Danny Wallace and Gemma Correll to be identified as the author and illustrator of this work respectively has been asserted by them in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.
 Simon & Schuster UK Ltd
 1st Floor, 222 Gray’s Inn Road, London
 WC1X 8HB
 www.simonandschuster.co.uk
 www.simonandschuster.com.au
 www.simonandschuster.co.in
 Simon & Schuster Australia, Sydney
 Simon & Schuster India, New Delhi
 A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
 PB ISBN 978-1-3985-1738-7
 eBook ISBN 978-1-3985-1739-4
 eAudio ISBN 978-1-3985-1740-0
 This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
 
 
 For my mum, who taught me how to see the good in everyone, and who’s shown her grandchildren the very same.
 
 
 
 Are you sitting up straight?
 No? Well…
 Are you sitting up straight… now?!
 One, two, three – eyes on me!
 It’s your own time you’re wasting. I can do this all day!
 Well, actually, I can’t, so let’s just start the lesson.
 I mean, the STORY!
 Because this is the story of how one girl (me) got the best job in the world ever.
 So how did I do it? How did I become my dad’s actual boss?
 Let’s start in the most magical, wonderful place on Earth. Let’s start in a place where dreams come true, where the sun always shines, where the smells of clean hallways and freshly scrubbed toilets dance across your nose like pure fairy dust.
 SCHOOL!
 Just like you, I absolutely love school. Can’t get enough of the place.
 At school, every day is a lesson. In fact, every lesson is a lesson.
 
 My name is Joss Pilfrey and I’m in my last year at Twin Pines Primary. Next year I’ll go to Woodhall Secondary School, which I cannot wait for. I’ve already memorized where all the buildings are so that I don’t waste any time getting lost when I could be learning. My new school will be the making of me. All my current teachers are very keen for me to go.
 For now, I’m doing my best to get as much out of the time I have left at Twin Pines as possible.
 I have been made Star of the Week more times than anyone else. You get made Star of the Week if you get the most gold stars on the Star Chart for star-like behaviour.
 I am the person who makes sure all the art stuff is put away properly, so I get a star for that.
 I’m always first to get into my gym kit and I’m always last out of the classroom, once I’ve made sure all the windows have been shut properly and the guinea pig has water. A classroom pet is not supposed to be fun – as I always remind everybody – it is merely a way of developing responsibility.
 And when a question is asked, or a volunteer is needed, I always, ALWAYS put my hand up.
 I also study the teachers very carefully to make sure they are doing everything correctly, and I am quick to point out when they’ve stuffed up. I provide this service absolutely free of charge – although I don’t seem to get many stars for that.
 Yes, I feel I am ready to progress to the next level in school and life, which is what I tell my head teacher every lunchtime when I eat my sandwiches in her office