The Human Kaboom


 
 
 
 Also by Adam Rubin
 
 The Ice Cream Machine
 Gladys the Magic Chicken
 High Five
 El Chupacabras
 Dragons Love Tacos 2: The Sequel
 Robo-Sauce
 Secret Pizza Party
 Dragons Love Tacos
 Big Bad Bubble
 Those Darn Squirrels Fly South
 Those Darn Squirrels and the Cat Next Door
 Those Darn Squirrels!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 G. P. Putnam’s Sons
 An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, New York
 
 
 
 First published in the United States of America by G. P. Putnam’s Sons, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, 2023
 Copyright © 2023 by Adam Rubin
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 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
 Names: Rubin, Adam, 1983– author. | Gray-Barnett, Daniel, illustrator. | Montalvo, Rodolfo, illustrator. | Zhang, Gracey, illustrator. | Souza, Adam de, illustrator. | Altés, Marta, illustrator. | Salmieri, Daniel, 1983– illustrator.
 Title: The human kaboom / Adam Rubin, Daniel Gray-Barnett, Rodolfo Montalvo, Gracey Zhang, Adam de Souza, Marta Altés, Daniel Salmieri.
 Description: New York: G. P. Putnam’s Sons, 2023. | Series: Tales from the multiverse; volume 2 | Summary: “A collection of six stories, each one featuring an explosion of some sort”—Provided by publisher.
 Identifiers: LCCN 2022006926 (print) | LCCN 2022006927 (ebook) | ISBN 9780593462393 (hardcover) | ISBN 9780593462416 (epub)
 Subjects: CYAC: Explosions—Fiction. | Humorous stories. | Short stories. | LCGFT: Short stories. | Humorous fiction.
 Classification: LCC PZ7.R83116 Hu 2023 (print) | LCC PZ7.R83116 (ebook) | DDC [E]—dc23
 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022006926LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022006927
 Ebook ISBN 9780593462416
 Design by Cindy De la Cruz, adapted for ebook by Michelle Quintero
 Geometric background image courtesy of Shutterstock
 This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
 The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.
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 For my high school English teacher Mr. Reid. Thank you for encouraging me to share my imagination on paper instead of just whispering it to Dina at the back of the class. Thank you for staying in touch and becoming a supportive friend. Thank you for understanding that I’ll never feel comfortable calling you Tim.
 
 
 
 
 Information plus time equals knowledge.
 Knowledge plus time equals wisdom.
 —Juan Herrera, Jerez, Spain
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Inspiration Is Everywhere
 
 
 
 
 Hello, friendo. It’s me, Adam Rubin. I wrote this book, as well as some others you might have read. (But if not, that’s okay. Just play along for the rest of the introduction.)
 Over the past few years, I’ve had the great pleasure of meeting a bunch of you in person. We got to high-five and pose for pictures and share some laughs at the bookstore. You asked excellent questions, which I was happy to answer: My favorite color is blue, I was born in 1983, and yes, I do have all twenty of my original fingers and toes.
 The most popular questions—from first graders to middle school students to gray-haired librarians—were all related to the theme of inspiration. Where the heck do I get the ideas for all my stories?
 The answer is in giant type at the top of the previous page: Inspiration is everywhere.
 Maybe you think I’m exaggerating. “This place stinks,” you say as you glance around. “There’s no inspiration here.”
 Well, I say, “Poppycock!” Which is a very fun word to say: poppycock.
 There are an infinite number of stupendous ideas floating right in front of your face, just waiting to be discovered. They might be invisible at the moment, but we can change that . . .
 Look, here’s a silly little doodle I made in five seconds.
 
 
 
 Nothing to it, right? Just a few squiggly lines. Can this drawing really be the inspiration for your next great story? You bet your butt it can.
 All you have to do is fuzz your eyes and open your mind. Some people call it daydreaming. (My math teacher used to tell me to quit it, but it’s actually a highly valuable skill.)
 When you give your brain permission to play, your imagination starts to run wild. The squiggly lines offer a million different possible interpretations: the hot sun on a summer day, a dancing octopus, a blaring horn, a stinky wheel of cheese, a glowing crystal ball, a squashed spider, a crown, a throwing star, a tunnel, a shimmering magic ring, a bubble popping, a volcano seen from above, a cannonball that crashed into a parking lot, a very hairy belly button, a radioactive grapefruit, an inter-dimensional portal . . . I could go on.
 The point is, every single thing in the universe—no matter how small or random or boring it might seem at first—can transform into the spark of a thrilling idea.
 Still don’t believe me? Flip to any page in this book and plop your finger down without looking. Now read the words you’re pointing to. What if that was a clue that led to the revelation of an ancient mystery? What if those were your great-grandfather’s dying words? What if you met someone with that phrase tattooed on their face?
 You can’t help but think about