The Space Between Now & Forever

Copyright © 2023 by Melissa Toppen All rights reserved. Except as permitted by U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without prior permission of the author. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, establishments, or organizations, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously to give a sense of authenticity. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. This book is intended for 18+ older, and for mature audiences only. Edited by Lawrence Editing Proofread by Roxane Leblanc Cover Design by Cover Me Darling Table of Contents Title Page Disclaimer Chapter One | Remi Chapter Two | Aspen Chapter Three | Sutton Chapter Four | Aspen Chapter Five | Aspen Chapter Six | Sutton Chapter Seven | Aspen Chapter Eight | Sutton Chapter Nine | Aspen Chapter Ten | Remi Chapter Eleven | Aspen Chapter Twelve | Sutton Chapter Thirteen | Aspen Chapter Fourteen | Sutton Chapter Fifteen | Aspen Epilogue | Remi ABOUT THE AUTHOR Also By Melissa Toppen Chapter One Remi –––––––– Memories. Such an inconsequential word, and yet the very thing that defines our existence. What are we if not for our memories? Who are we? Who would I be without the memory of what came before? Without the memory of her? Aspen... I remember the first time I saw her in perfect detail—the moment etched so deeply into my brain that if I close my eyes, I can still see her sitting at the back of the classroom, her blond hair, kissed with pink, pooling over both of her shoulders like a protective barrier. I don’t know what called me to her, only that I felt drawn to her in a way I couldn’t explain. Like the universe was trying to tell me something. And I listened. I’ll never forget the way she looked at me when I slipped into the desk next to her. The way her big, hazel eyes regarded me, full of suspicion, like she couldn’t understand why I had chosen to sit beside her when nearly every desk in the classroom was still empty. She was pretty in a way I wasn’t sure I quite understood in that moment. Understated. Breathtaking. Even at twelve years old, I knew she was something special. And when I cracked some lame joke and she smiled, well, let’s just say I was an absolute goner. We were inseparable from that moment on. The older we grew, the more I questioned if our friendship could be something more. But if I had learned anything about Aspen in the time I had known her, it was that what she needed was a friend, and that was more important than what I wanted. So, I decided that was what I would be for her. Her best friend. Her confidant. Her shoulder to cry on. Her first phone call when she just needed to vent. And one day, maybe I would be something more. If only I knew then what I know now. Turns out, no one can predict the future, even when it’s the only certainty they’ve ever truly known. The last six days have felt like a nightmare. I keep pinching myself, trying to wake up and end this torture I can’t seem to escape, only it’s not a nightmare at all, but my reality. I knew something was off. I knew Aspen was keeping something from me. I just never dreamed this was it. That she and my brother were seeing each other in secret, and I was the idiot who was kept completely in the dark, trusting my family to have my back. I guess that was my first mistake. But even knowing what they did—even knowing what she did—I can’t erase the last twelve years. I can’t erase her. Trust me, I’ve been trying. It’s the most unnatural thing I’ve ever done, which is likely why my body and mind have rejected the attempts vehemently. I guess that’s how I find myself here now, standing outside her apartment building, watching her cross the street toward me. She hasn’t noticed me yet, so I take a much-needed moment to gather myself before finally stepping out of the shadows. Her eyes widen in surprise at the sight of me. Eyes rimmed with red and slightly swollen from crying. I try to ignore the ache that intensifies in my chest, but it’s like trying to block out the sun when shelter is nowhere to be found. Has she always been so beautiful? What am I saying? Of course she has. Only now, her beauty is shadowed by sadness. Her usually bright eyes, dull with pain. Her long, blond hair left in messy waves that look unbrushed. Her clothes slightly mismatched as if she didn’t even realize what she was putting on this morning. Simply put, she looks about how I feel—in shambles. The sight wrenches tighter at my gut. Is her sadness for me or for my brother? Does it really even matter? “Can we talk?” I force myself to speak, though the words feel like razor blades as they slide their way up, slicing the sensitive flesh at the back of my throat. I grimace at the pain, my eyes dipping to her mouth as her shaky voice fills the air. I can’t stop the memory from flooding back in at the sight of her soft lips. It happens so quickly I barely hear her response. The way it felt to kiss her after so many years. The way she responded to me, so natural,