Author/Uploaded by Art Sapphire
Copyright © 2023 by Art Sapphire All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the...
Copyright © 2023 by Art Sapphire All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. Editor: My Brother’s Editor www.mybrotherseditor.net Cover Photographer: Cadwallader Photography https://www.kcpclients.com Cover designer: Art Sapphire Designs https://authorartsapphire.com/pages/art-sapphire-designs Created with Vellum CONTENTS Trigger Warnings Playlist Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37 Chapter 38 Chapter 39 Thank You!! Acknowledgments For all of you who were told to smile too many damn times. TRIGGER WARNINGS **Not in any particular order. Please be aware that this list is subjective and may not encompass all possible triggers!!** MMF (There is a romantic relationship between two men and there are several group scenes between all three people.) Extreme choking/breath play Age gap DVP (double vaginal penetration) Praise kink Depression, PTSD, panic attacks, anxiety, etc. Fear of touch which leads to intense panic attacks Childhood trauma Human branding (Isn’t explicitly described, but is brought up as a past experience and trauma.) Kidnapping and torture of a child (Also isn’t explicitly described, but is mentioned and experienced as a past trauma.) Explicit torture, gore, blood, etc. Orgasm denial Stalker with malicious intentions Mask wearing Past experiences as a foster child Hurt/comfort scenes Daddy dom and sub scenes Submissive subspace experiences Brief bullying by minor characters Brief attempted sexual assault PLAYLIST **Not in any particular order.** I’m a Wanted Man — Royal Deluxe Savages — Royal Deluxe Bodies — Bryce Fox Dead Man Walking — WAR*HALL Not Going Home — Tones and I Bad Side — CRMNL Killer Inside of Me — Willyecho Only Happy When It Rains — Sam Tinnesz and Holy Wars Dead or Alive — Stileto and Magdalen Duke Reaper — Silverberg (feat. Jordan Frye) Zombie Love — Bohnes Joker — Rory Webley My Drug — Anthony Mossburg Here Comes Trouble — Neoni Blood On a Rose — Everybody Loves an Outlaw Cravin’ — Stileto and Kendyle Paige Bad Man — Esterly (feat. Austin Jenckes) I’m Dangerous — The EverLove Dark Side — Cece And The Dark Hearts, and AG Heart Of The Darkness (Tommee Profitt and Sam Tinnesz Till Our Last Day — Bryce Savage Dangerous — AViVA Bad Things — Noah Davis Feeling Dangerous — City Wolf, Frank Bentley, and Hollywood Black I’ll Be There For You — Silent Child ONE Today is my eighteenth birthday, and yet, I feel like I’ve already lived a lifetime. I’m dreading going out there and seeing everyone having fun while I’m slowly dying inside. Honestly, I didn’t think I would make it this long. I thought I would shrivel away into nothing a long time ago, so today should be a celebration, but all I can think about is the number of people that’ll be in my backyard. All wanting to talk to me and resisting the urge to hug me. My body shudders at the thought of letting anyone touch me. I didn’t use to be this way. I have memories of freely laughing and wanting to be hugged. But that was before. Before I learn just how cruel the world truly is. Now, I try my hardest to hide how broken I really am inside. I don’t want my mom to worry more than she already does. I don’t want Snake, Cosmo, or Beck to look at me with pain in their eyes. I’ve already hurt them more than should be bearable. I wish things were different. I wish I was different. But I’m not. I’m drowning in my own mind, trying not to drag anyone else down with me. I take one more look in my mirror and steel my spine. I just have to get through tonight, and then I can hide out in my bedroom for a few days and decompress. My dress is black, going all the way to my feet. It’s baggy and a few sizes too big, as are all of my other clothes. After what happened to me when I was six, all I wanted to do was hide. My dyed dark-brown hair is pulled onto the top of my head in a messy bun, a few tendrils falling out to frame my face. I guess that’s good enough. At least the deadness behind my blue eyes isn’t so prominent today. I walk out of my bedroom, mustering up the courage to go out to the backyard. As soon as I open the patio door, I’m bombarded with cheers and clapping, everyone’s staring at me. My cheeks heat immediately, and I wring my hands together in front of me. Mom rushes over to me, and I can tell from her expression that she’s barely stopping herself from hugging me. It’s times like this that I wish I could hug her. I miss her warm, comforting hugs. Chills break out on my arms and my whole body revolts at the very thought of letting her touch me. It’s not her. She’s only ever been supportive and loving. It’s me and the fucked-up darkness flooding my mind with disease. I think I tell her that I love her, but I’m not sure. My mind’s overcome with all of the pressure and eyes on me. I feel suffocated. As quickly as I can, I