Feral

PRAISE FOR FERAL“We can only aspire to the curiosity, pluck, and delight exhibited in Emily Pennington’s Feral despite the boulders and storms life might have tumbled at her.”—Nick Offerman, author of Where the Deer and the Antelope Play and Paddle Your Own Canoe“Emily peels back the superficial layers of van life with unflinching honesty to reveal the beautifully frustrating reality that is life on the road, while also gifting readers with important epiphanies set in our beloved national parks. This is a must read for anyone who values public land, our environment, and compelling storytelling.”—Craig Grossi, author of Craig & Fred and Second Chances“Please read Emily Pennington’s brilliantly written story about her year visiting our national parks. It is filled with the savage beauty, historical depth, and existential joy nature has to share with all of us. Do not miss this extraordinary adventure.”—Lyn Lear, Emmy-nominated filmmaker and environmental activist“Self-improvement, but also connection. The rush of new challenges, but also the tranquility of quiet moments. Emily Pennington travels for all the right reasons, and we’re so lucky she’s brought us along on the adventure of a lifetime.”—Sebastian Modak, editor-at-large at Lonely Planet and former New York Times 52 Places Traveler “Emily’s vivid memoir is for anyone seeking what could be, rather than accepting what is. Her national park journey is a testament to life-changing relationships, finding oneself, and the transformative power of the outdoors.”—Heather Balogh Rochfort, adventure journalist and author of Women Who Hike“Emily was facing major obstacles as she set out on a huge adventure to visit every US national park, from a breakup to the onset of COVID-19. In an awesome Eat, Pray, Love approach to the natural world, she sets out on the adventure of a lifetime, dodging grizzly bears and hiking in some of the world’s remotest places. There’s no one I’d rather go on this journey with.”—Mary Turner, deputy editor, Outside magazine“Emily Pennington knows America’s park system better than most people know their own backyards—it is a privilege to get an intimate glimpse of how that relationship has shaped her.”—Megan Spurrell, senior editor at Condé Nast Traveler“On paper, a plan to visit all sixty-two US national parks in one year sounds like a fun trip—what makes Feral an adventure story worth reading, though, is everything that wasn’t in the plan.”—Brendan Leonard, author of The Camping Life and Sixty Meters to Anywhere“A timely travel memoir that melds together stories of our national park system and the author’s life. This is a book about themes that touch us all: exploration, discovery, and home. Packed with vivid details and brutal honesty, to read Feral is to know Emily.”—Abigail Wise, digital managing director, Outside magazine Text copyright © 2023 by Emily PenningtonAll rights reserved.No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.Published by Little A, New Yorkwww.apub.comAmazon, the Amazon logo, and Little A are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc., or its affiliates.ISBN-13: 9781542039710 (hardcover)ISBN-13: 9781542039703 (paperback)ISBN-13: 9781542039727 (digital)Cover design by Kimberly GlyderCover image: ©Bill45 / ShutterstockMap credit: Jacy ZuckerbrowInterior photos courtesy of the authorFirst edition For the void chasers and the void embracers.For anyone who has ever wanted to throw a hand grenade into their humdrum life.For all the defenders of wilderness, near and far. CONTENTSSTART READINGAUTHOR’S NOTEPrologueChapter 1 WILDERNESS PABLUMChapter 2 WESTWARD EXPANSIONChapter 3 URBAN CONTRACTIONChapter 4 THE GREAT WIDE OPENChapter 5 THE LAST FRONTIERChapter 6 A RIOT IN THE NORTHWESTChapter 7 EXCAVATIONS IN AUTUMNChapter 8 A BED OF MOSSChapter 9 EVERYWHERE AND NOWHEREACKNOWLEDGMENTSABOUT THE AUTHOR When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in.That’s what this storm’s all about.—Haruki MurakamiInstructions for living a life:Pay attention.Be astonished.Tell about it.—Mary Oliver AUTHOR’S NOTEI feel it’s important to note at the beginning of this book that the history of America’s national parks (and public lands in general) is one riddled with violence, displacement, and the erasure of countless Native cultures. For much of my journey, I was traveling on lands that were essentially stolen from Indigenous peoples who had lived there since time immemorial. When possible and where it was relevant to the story, I have done my best to highlight some of this rich underlying narrative. I would also like to mention that this is, of course, a mere drop in the bucket when it comes to unearthing and celebrating important Tribal history and achieving any sort of racial equity within the parks. It’s an important and timely conversation, and our work has only just begun. PrologueEven as I was sinking, the earth was rising. The stubborn, glaciated hulk of Mount Blackburn loomed imperiously on the edge of the Alaskan horizon, staring me down like a god. Awash in alpenglow as if lit from within, its 16,390-foot summit felt hilariously out of place in the scene I inhabited, slouched over a pockmarked picnic table watching the words fall from my mouth and into the vacuum between me and the man I had loved for the last two years.“I think we should break up.”Adam’s deep hazel eyes rioted back from across the table. They twitched for a moment, then squinted as a yellowjacket landed on his forearm. His face twisted into something resembling agreement as he nodded, knocking my ego onto the sandy riverbank below. I couldn’t believe it. My adventure-loving dreamboat. My cuddle cult leader. The only person crazy enough to almost marry me. And now he’d be gone from my future forever.On a mounting list of worst-case scenarios, it was one I hadn’t planned for when I set off to visit every US national park seven months earlier. Before the trip, a churning list of potential pitfalls had run at a steady pace in my mind: grizzly bears in Yellowstone, plane crashes in the remote Arctic, flat tires in Death Valley, hurricanes in Florida. But nowhere on the list had I scrawled: “Losing my home and