Heart Sick

Table of Contents Title Page Copyrighted Material Other Books By Monica James Author’s Note: One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Sixteen Seventeen Eighteen Nineteen Acknowledgements About the Author Connect with Monica James Copyrighted Material HEART SICK This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination, or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons living or dead, is coincidental. Any trademarks, service marks, product names or named features are assumed to be the property of their respective owners and are used only for reference. Copyright © 2023 by Monica James All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced, scanned or distributed in any printed or electronic form without the express, written consent of the author. Cover Model: Luke Eisner Photographer: Michelle Lancaster Editing: My Brother’s Editor Interior design and formatting by: www.emtippettsbookdesigns.com Follow me on: authormonicajames.com THE I SURRENDER SERIES I Surrender Surrender to Me Surrendered White SOMETHING LIKE NORMAL SERIES Something Like Normal Something Like Redemption Something Like Love A HARD LOVE ROMANCE Dirty Dix Wicked Dix The Hunt MEMORIES FROM YESTERDAY DUET Forgetting You, Forgetting Me Forgetting You, Remembering Me SINS OF THE HEART DUET Absinthe of the Heart Defiance of the Heart ALL THE PRETTY THINGS TRILOGY Bad Saint Fallen Saint Forever My Saint The Devil’s Crown-Part One (Spin-Off) The Devil’s Crown-Part Two (Spin-Off) THE MONSTERS WITHIN DUET Bullseye Blowback DELIVER US FROM EVIL TRILOGY Thy Kingdom Come Into Temptation Deliver Us From Evil IN LOVE AND WAR North of the Stars Fall of the Stars REVENGE IS SWEET SERIES Crybaby HEART MEMORY TRANSFER DUET Heart Sick STANDALONE Mr. Write Chase the Butterflies Beyond the Roses Someone Else’s Shadow HEART SICK is a DARK ROMANCE containing mature themes that might make some readers uncomfortable. It contains violence, attempted suicide, death, drug use, medical procedures, psychological treatments, misuse of a corpse, blood gore, and some dark and disturbing scenes. In no way, shape, or form is the author glorifying any of the situations or circumstances in this book. There is no cruelty to animals. You’ve been warned… “Sweetie, he’s gone.” Those words play on a loop—over and over again. But they can’t be real, because what sort of world would cut short the life of a twenty-three-year-old man who had his whole future ahead of him? A cruel fucking world I want to burn to the ground. When I feel the gentle hands of my best friend, Joy McNelly, attempting to pry me away, my body switches to fight or flight mode, but at the forefront is fight because no one, no one is taking me away from my…son. My son who lies in this sterile hospital bed…brain dead at age twenty-three. “No!” I scream over and over again. This has to be a bad dream. “Mom, it’ll be okay. I’ve got you. It’ll be okay.” That’s what Misha would say. He always knows what to say to calm me down. It’s only been us since Misha was born, as his father left the day I told him I was pregnant. I was fifteen, almost sixteen. A young girl who shamed her devout Catholic family by having a baby out of wedlock. But it was even more shameful having an abortion. I was sent away to reform school for deviant girls like me to have Misha in secrecy. The moment he was born, I lovingly counted his ten fingers. I kissed his ten perfect toes. I knew then and there what my purpose was, and that was to be his mother. I didn’t care that my family would disown me because it was decided by them that I was to put Misha up for adoption. But the moment I saw him, I knew I had met the love of my life, and I would do everything in my power to protect and love him unconditionally. I brought Misha home and thought my parents would also fall in love. How couldn’t they? He was perfect with his blond hair, blue eyes, and cherub cheeks. He was an angel sent from God. But when my father dropped dead from a heart attack the moment he set eyes on his grandson, my mother only saw Misha as a punishment sent from the heavens to chasten her for raising a daughter with loose morals. She threw Misha and me out, convinced this is what her God would want. This was her atoning for her sins, and it was from that day forward that I renounced religion because what sort of God would be so cruel? Is this my punishment for turning my back on a God which has never shown me any mercy? “I’ll get your medication. You rest,” Misha had said as he kissed my forehead before grabbing my car keys from the coffee table. I was sick with the flu and needed the medication my doctor prescribed me. Misha offered to get them for me. If only I insisted he didn’t go, none of this would be happening. If only he stayed home… He had his whole life ahead of him, and I know he would have accomplished great things. He was playing college football and the scouts saw that he was something special. But I already knew that. My Misha would have changed the world. But he never got to reach his full potential, thanks to a driver who veered onto the wrong side of the road. Misha didn’t stand a chance. The driver fled, while here he is…my beautiful boy, kept “alive” by these machines where each beep taunts me with everything that I’ve lost. I link my fingers through Misha’s. He’s still warm. “Ms. Huxley, I’m Dr. Sterling. My colleague and I have looked at Misha’s scans, and I’m afraid the swelling in his brain has just worsened. These machines are the only things keeping him alive. His brain activity is—” I