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Book Contents Title Page Copyright & Acknowledgment Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-One Chapter Twenty-Two Chapter Twenty-Three Chapter Twenty-Four Guide Contents Start of Content Copyright © 2023 by Dani Lakely All rights reserved. No part of this story may be used, reproduced, or transmitted in any form without written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations used within book reviews. This novel’s story and characters are fictitious. The names, events, and establishments do not exist outside of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarities to actual people or places is coincidental and not intended by the author. Any products/brand names/songs/television & movie titles, etc. mentioned are registered trademarks of their respective copyright holders. Editing by: Sarah Coppin Cover Art by: J Witter A special thank you to my beta reader, R.M. Neill, for not only giving me constructive feedback, but for cheering me on, supporting me throughout the entire writing process, & for listening to me endlessly whine about the utter depravity of spelling come with a u. Genuine gratitude & big hugs to R.M.! CHAPTER ONE VEENA WRINKLES HER nose as she pulls the bag of classic potato chips from Tyler's hands. “Come on, there’s other flavors. No one likes these.” She peers down the long row of snacks until her eyes land on Hawaiian Sweet Maui Onion, and two bags are decidedly tossed into their shopping cart. Tyler huffs out a half-hearted breath in protest, trailing after her as she moves towards the candy aisle. “There's a reason certain tastes become classic, you know.” “Right,” she easily agrees, glancing at him sideways with a smirk. “Because people are stuck in their habits and refuse to say yes to dates even when their favorite roommate sets them up again." Oh. That. Lately Veena’s been on a mission. And that self-assigned goal is to get Tyler laid. Ever since their household played a tequila-inspired game of truth or dare a few weeks back and she discovered he’s still a virgin. Which was something Tyler hadn’t admitted to his roommates before. Being a college-aged virgin in a house full of people who bring someone new home to bang every time Tyler opened his bedroom door, he knew better than to share that certain fact. Until a bottle of Don Julio, one too many rounds of ‘lick, shoot, suck’ and Veena asking when he last got his dick wet. Back home in small-town Indiana, they never talked about that sort of thing. His best friend since grade school, Brad, was in a deeply committed relationship with Jesus, and more concerned with dominating Bible trivia at youth group than kissing anyone. Brad’s devout enthusiasm drew Tyler to the church’s weekly meetings for teens. It was there, in his senior year of high school, he met his one and only girlfriend, Brittany. After three months of carrying her books to class, sitting with all of Brit’s friends in the lunchroom as they gleefully dissected whether she should really wear that mauve sweater again, and attending her little brother’s baseball games on weekends, she stuck her tongue in his mouth. It took him by surprise, but it wasn’t entirely unexpected. The way Tyler saw it, kissing was a rite of passage for the kids in his town. Like learning how to ride a bike on the trails at Gateway Park, or shoplifting Jolly Ranchers from the corner grocery store. It was destined to happen sometime. So when Brittany pressed her lips against his one lazy Saturday afternoon while skipping stones at Johnson’s pond, Tyler leaned into it, and kissed her back. But when their tongues finally met, he felt nothing. Just a fleeting whisper of disappointment, and Brittany gave a sort of half-shrug afterwards as if thinking the same thing. And even though they dated through the rest of the school year, they only made-out a handful more times. Culminating to the point of ridiculously awkward when Brittany slid his hand over her breast after prom—in an obligatory sort of way Tyler supposed—and he wasn’t sure who was less into it. That was the last time they kissed before Brittany ducked into her father’s car, driving away to college at Indiana State. She broke up with Tyler a week later. He wasn’t at all surprised. So, yeah. He’s not exactly practiced at discussing ‘getting his dick wet’ or anything else even close to that. “Are you sure you’re allosexual?” Veena asks, biting into a Red Vines rope she’s snagged off the shelf. “All a sexual what?” “Allosexual. It means you experience sexual attraction to other human beings. I’m not going to keep setting you up with girls if that isn’t your thing. You are a human, though—” she leans in a little closer, studying his face. Tyler can smell the waxy sweetness of licorice on her breath “—right, Ty?” Veena asks him so earnestly that he almost believes she means the question for a sec before she cracks, and a grin spreads across her entire face. “Kidding.” “Yeah, I dunno,” he confesses, breaking eye contact to stare determinedly at the rows of condiments on the shelf behind her. “About being an alien?” “About being attracted to girls,” he admits, still unable to meet her eyes. There’s a brief silence, and then she says, “I also have friends who are boys.” They start moving again, slowly nudging the cart down the aisle. “You ever thought about it?” asks Veena. “Thought about having friends?” he says, blowing off her question. “I have you, who else could I possibly want?” “I mean guys,” she says, still digging. “Have you thought about having sex with them?” Tried not to think about them is more like it. Growing up, there was no room to do anything but push