Chaos Theory

Contents Cover Other Titles Title Page Copyright Contents Dedication Dearly Beloved Reader Content Warning April 5 Phase I: Stellar Nebula (Un)remarkable. Mission. Service. Chicken. Gifted. Ride. Crisis. Graducation. Becky. Agreement. Piloga. Phase 2: Protostar Formation Augustines. Surprise. Relief. Tacos. Junk. Swim. (Aside. Road Trip. Stars. Regression. Confession. Phase 3: Nuclear Fusion Andy— Shelbi Curveball. Fruition. Wake-Up. Darkness. Clarity. Disoriented. Phase 4: Supernova Answers (Sort Of). Crossroads. Losses. Phase 0.0: Stellar Debris Love. Author’s Note Epilogue: Stellar Nebula 2.0 Acknowledgments Landmarks Cover Cover Title Page Contents Start Copyright Print Page List ii iii iv v vii viii ix x 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 
 
 
 
 
 Also by Nic Stone
 Dear Martin
 Odd One Out
 Jackpot
 Dear Justyce
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
 Text copyright © 2023 by Logolepsy Media Inc.
 Cover art copyright © 2023 by Cienna Smith
 All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Crown Books for Young Readers, an imprint of Random House Children’s Books, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.
 Crown and the colophon are registered trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.
 Visit us on the Web! GetUnderlined.com
 Educators and librarians, for a variety of teaching tools, visit us at RHTeachersLibrarians.com
 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.
 ISBN 9780593307700 (trade)—ISBN 9780593307717 (lib. bdg.)—ebook ISBN 9780593307724
 Random House Children’s Books supports the First Amendment and celebrates the right to read.
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 ep_prh_6.0_142777980_c0_r1
 
 
 
 Contents
 
 Cover
 Also by Nic Stone
 Title Page
 Copyright
 Dedication
 Dearly Beloved Reader
 Content Warning
 
 
 April 5
 
 
 Phase I: Stellar Nebula
 
 (Un)remarkable.
 
 
 Mission.
 
 
 Service.
 
 
 Chicken.
 
 
 Gifted.
 
 
 Ride.
 
 
 Crisis.
 
 
 Graducation.
 
 
 Becky.
 
 
 Agreement.
 
 
 Piloga.
 
 
 
 Phase 2: Protostar Formation
 
 Augustines.
 
 
 Surprise.
 
 
 Relief.
 
 
 Tacos.
 
 
 Junk.
 
 
 Swim.
 
 
 (Aside.
 
 
 Road Trip.
 
 
 Stars.
 
 
 Regression.
 
 
 Confession.
 
 
 
 Phase 3: Nuclear Fusion
 
 Andy—
 
 
 Shelbi
 
 
 Curveball.
 
 
 Fruition.
 
 
 Wake-Up.
 
 
 Darkness.
 
 
 Clarity.
 
 
 Disoriented.
 
 
 
 Phase 4: Supernova
 
 Answers (Sort Of).
 
 
 Crossroads.
 
 
 Losses.
 
 
 
 Phase 0.0: Stellar Debris
 
 Love.
 
 
 
 Author’s Note
 Epilogue: Stellar Nebula 2.0
 Acknowledgments
 
 
 _142777980_
 
 
 
 For my beloved father, Tony A. Bouie. Thank you for always rooting for me as me.
 
 
 
 
 
 Dearly beloved reader:
 We are gathered here today to…read this book about brain-based stuff that affects a lot of people even though we don’t like talking about it.
 Yes, that was corny, but hopefully you snorted or sucked your teeth or rolled your eyes or something. The ice needed to be broken.
 Now that I have your full attention, let me first say this: I loooooathe the term “mental illness.” Yes, I know where it comes from and why we use it, but the idea of there being a right way for a brain to function is…well, I find it endlessly annoying, and as you read this book, I hope you’ll see why.
 But since you haven’t read it yet, I want to tell you up front that I, Nic Stone, am *technically* mentally ill. I won’t get into my specific diagnoses here because they’re genuinely not important, but I do want to warn you that a lot of what you’ll see in these pages is based on my literal personal experiences.
 This is an important thing to remember as you read because there’s a good chance that (1) if you also live with a