Dust Child


 Contents
 
 Cover
 Title
 Dedication
 Contents
 Child of the Enemy
 Returning to the Land of Fear
 An Impossible Choice
 A Bird Finding Its Nest
 The Heat of Sài Gòn
 Sài Gòn Tea
 A Flash of Hope
 Facing the Consequences
 Behind the Dark Room
 The Tree of Love
 The Secret
 The Danger of Fire
 The Cost of Hope
 The Laughing Buddha
 War and Peace
 How to Be a Mother
 Finding a Needle at the Bottom of the Ocean
 The Past and the Future
 Revenge and Forgiveness
 Sweetness and Bitterness
 Love and Honor
 Author’s Note
 Acknowledgments
 Also by Nguyễn Phan Quế Mai
 About the Author
 Copyright
 
 
 
 Landmarks
 
 
 Cover
 
 
 Dust Child: A Novel
 
 
 Contents
 
 
 Child of the Enemy
 
 
 Author’s Note
 
 
 About the Author
 
 
 Copyright
 
 
 
 
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 Dust Child
 a novel
 Nguyễn Phan Quế Mai
 Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill 2023
 
 
 For Amerasians and their family members who shared with me their personal stories and who inspire me with their courage. For the millions of men, women, and children who were pulled into the vortex of the Việt Nam War. For anyone whose life has been touched by violence. May our world see more compassion and peace.
 
 
 Contents 
 Child of the Enemy
 Returning to the Land of Fear
 An Impossible Choice
 A Bird Finding Its Nest
 The Heat of Sài Gòn
 Sài Gòn Tea
 A Flash of Hope
 Facing the Consequences
 Behind the Dark Room
 The Tree of Love
 The Secret
 The Danger of Fire
 The Cost of Hope
 The Laughing Buddha
 War and Peace
 How to Be a Mother
 Finding a Needle at the Bottom of the Ocean
 The Past and the Future
 Revenge and Forgiveness
 Sweetness and Bitterness
 Love and Honor
 Author’s Note
 Acknowledgments
 
 
 During the Việt Nam War, tens of thousands of children were born into relationships between American soldiers and Vietnamese women. Tragic circumstances separated most of these Amerasian children from their fathers and, later, their mothers. Many have not found each other again.
 
 
 This book is a work of fiction. Though major historical events are real, the names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
 
 
 
 Child of the Enemy
 Hồ Chí Minh City, 2016
 “Life is a boat,” Sister Nhã, the Catholic nun who had raised Phong, once told him. “When you depart from your first anchor—your mother’s womb—you will be pulled away by unexpected currents. If you can fill your boat with enough hope, enough self-belief, enough compassion, and enough curiosity, you will be ready to weather all the storms of life.”
 As Phong sat waiting at the American Consulate, he felt the weight of hope in his hands—his visa application, and those of his wife Bình, his son Tài, and his daughter Diễm.
 Around him, many Vietnamese were waiting in chairs or in lines for their turn to speak with one of the visa officers who sat at counters behind glass windows. Some Vietnamese cast curious glances toward Phong and he felt the heat of their eyes. “Half-breed,” he imagined them whispering. Throughout his life, he had been called the dust of life, bastard, Black American imperialist, child of the enemy. These labels had been flung at him when he was younger with such ferocity that they had burrowed deep within him, refusing to let go. When he was a child living in the Lâm Đồng New Economic Zone with Sister Nhã, he once filled a large bucket with water and soap, climbed inside, and rubbed his skin with a sponge gourd to scrub the black off it. He was bleeding by the time Sister Nhã found him. He wondered why he