Mr. Breakfast

Contents Cover Other Titles Title Page Copyright Dedication Contents Epigraph Pinecone Tin Eye Tying Water in a Knot Big Gray Hat Felek A Lazarus Glass Soul Landmarks Cover Cover Table of Content Start Title Page Copyright Print Page List i ii iii iv v vi vii viii 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 ALSO BY JONATHAN CARROLL
 The Land of Laughs
 Voice of Our Shadow
 Bones of the Moon
 Sleeping in Flame
 A Child Across the Sky
 Black Cocktail
 Outside the Dog Museum
 After Silence
 From the Teeth of Angels
 The Panic Hand
 Kissing the Beehive
 The Marriage of Sticks
 The Wooden Sea
 White Apples
 Glass Soup
 The Heidelberg Cylinder
 The Ghost in Love
 The Woman Who Married a Cloud
 Bathing the Lion
 The Crow’s Dinner
 
 
 
 
 
 
 MR. BREAKFAST
 First published in 2023 by Melville House
 Copyright © Jonathan Carroll, 2022
 All rights reserved
 First Melville House Printing: November 2022
 Melville House Publishing
 46 John Street
 Brooklyn, NY 11201
 and
 Melville House UK
 Suite 2000
 16/18 Woodford Road
 London E7 0HA
 mhpbooks.com
 @melvillehouse
 ISBN 9781612199924
 Ebook ISBN 9781612199931
 Library of Congress Control Number: 2022945979
 A catalog record for this book is available from the Library of Congress
 a_prh_6.0_142242130_c0_r0
 
 
 for
 Celina Pająk
 
 
 
 Contents
 
 Cover
 Also by Jonathan Carroll
 Title Page
 Copyright
 Dedication
 Epigraph
 
 
 Pinecone
 Tin Eye
 Tying Water in a Knot
 Big Gray Hat
 Felek
 A Lazarus Glass Soul
 
 
 
 
 Nothing will tell you
 where you are.
 Each moment is a place
 you’ve never been.
 —MARK STRAND
 
 
 We don’t really know it, but we sense it: there is a sister ship to our life which takes a totally different route.
 —TOMAS TRANSTRÖMER
 
 
 When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs. When images become inadequate, I shall be content with silence.
 —ANSEL ADAMS
 
 
 
 “Do you want to talk about Patterson now? We don’t have to if you’re not in the mood.”
 Ruth Murphy’s face went through a whole Olympics of different expressions—anger, sadness, resignation—before she spoke. “Patterson the joker, right? The jokester, the clown, the idiot. That’s the Graham I knew. Back then, what wouldn’t the man do for a laugh? I assume you know about the time with the prosthetic arm? They were going to arrest him. They had him in handcuffs, for God’s sake! But he was so over-the-top goofy with the cops he made them laugh too, so they let the fool go. That time. There were others, and they didn’t end so happily.” She knew she wasn’t being fair or telling the whole truth because there were so many other things she had loved about Patterson. But now she was old and alone, and old love unfulfilled can sometimes fester.
 The interviewer said gently, “But that was in his career as a comedian—long before he became famous and disappeared. You were together a long time…”
 “Three years. We stayed together because I loved him. You can love someone and still think they’re an idiot. I want to show you something.”
 In the old woman’s lap was a battered, sun-bleached manila envelope. Opening it, she slowly slid out a large photograph. One side had a large crease, and overall the picture had not been well cared for. She handed it to James Arthur, the interviewer. He took one look and nodded—of course he’d seen it before. Hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, of people had seen it before.
 “That’s a very well-known picture, Ms. Murphy.”
 “I know,” Ruth said irritably, having heard the condescension in his voice. “But it’s my line.”
 “Excuse me?” Arthur straightened his back and tried to control the disbelief in his voice.
 “He used my line—I said it. Or rather, I wrote it to him in a note, right after we broke up. Turn the picture over and read what’s on the back.”
 The man did, and saw written there in handwriting that was instantly familiar to him:
 “To Ruthie—who gave me the beginning with a Brownie. Thank you for that, and for so much more. Great Love, Graham.”
 “Whoa, amazing! It’s hard to believe. I’m sure you know how famous this photo is—it’s on par with anything by William Eggleston. Personally, I think it’s better.”
 Ruth grumbled, “I didn’t say I took it—that was all Graham’s doing. The picture, the way he framed the image, the lighting, he found