Ollie's Octrageously Official Omnibus


 
 
 Ollie’s Collection of Cool Stufahfah
 STUFF and no this is lame
 Ollie's Kriller Squiddles: A Tentacular and Authenticle Guide to the Universe
 no too long
 Ollie’s Octrageously Ofahfah—
 no
 Ollie’s Octrageously Official Omnicar
 BUS! OMNIBUS!
 
 OLLIE’S OCTRAGEOUSLY
 OFFICIAL OMNIBUS
 Table of Contents
 Title Page
 Members of the Super Secret Sages' Club
 Star Signs
 Classifications of Magic
 The Sagittarian Gods
 The Gods’ Family Tree
 The Everlasting Races
 The Sabbaths
 Ollie’s Grimoire :D
 A Brief History of the Sages
 Herbs, Plants, and Stone Things
 Handfasting
 Ollie’s Spells <3<3<3
 Recipes
 About the Author and Illustrator
 More from K.L. Hiers
 By K.L. Hiers
 Visit Dreamspinner Press
 Copyright
 
 
 
 Members of the Super
 Secret Sages’ Club
 Name: Sloane Daniel Beaumont
 Star Sign: Brael
 Registered: Divine
 Sagittarian: Touched by Starlight
 Eye Color: brown
 Hair Color: black
 Features: big magical eyebrows
 Starkiller, killed a god two gods idk man he’s killed a whole bunch of gods okay? He’s super badass :D
 Parents, Daniel and Pandora, murdered in a bad ritual (and it was like right after Dhankes. Big bummer) :(
 Former detective at the AVPD, worked with Milo & Uncle Chase doing magical enforcement stuff
 Private Investigator – Beaumont Investigations very fancy card, has the Sage’s Cross on it! :D
 Married to Azaethoth the Lesser, one daughter named Pandora (AKA Panda Bear, Her Majesty Panda, The Pandariffic Princess, Pandora the Non-Flammable)
 
 
 
 Name: Azaethoth the Lesser AKA Loch
 Star Sign: Mondelo
 Registered: N/A (uh, he’s a god, so no)
 Sagittarian: God of Tricksters, Thieves, and Divine Retribution
 Eye Color: green
 Hair Color: red
 Features: tentacles of the bluish-gray variety
 Brother of Tollmathan, Gronoch, Xhorlas, and Galgareth. Son of Salgumel, he who was spawned by Baub, the child of Zunnerath and Halandrach, they who were born of Etheril and Xarapharos, descended directly from Great Azaethoth himself
 Named for his great-great-great-grandfather, Great Azaethoth
 Really loves Gordon Ramsey and cooking
 56 siblings (WHOA)
 Is really a big giant dragon with cool shiny wings and loves taking things that don’t belong to him
 
 
 
 Name: Pandora Azaethoth the Lesser Junior Beaumont :D :D :D (so cute!!!)
 Star Sign: Yerone
 Registered: N/A
 Sagittarian: Demi-goddess :D 
 Eye Color: brown
 Hair Color: red
 Features: Really reallyyyyyy likes fire 
 The adorable and super spunky daughter of Sloane and Azaethoth the Lesser <3<3<3
 Was the result of Loch being a very “irresponsible god” 
 Likes applesauce
 Hates green beans
 Favorite words are “mass panic” and all the very bad ones she’s totally not supposed to say
 Born on the summer solstice from an egg that Sloane carried (godly pregnancies are crazy), she’s growing super duper fast. Already walking and talking and ready to learn how to pick locks with daddy Loch! XD
 
 
 
 Name: Tedward Beauseph Sturm
 Star Sign: Molbrot
 Registered: Air
 Sagittarian: Babbeth’s Tongue 
 Eye Color: green
 Hair Color: brown
 Features: Big AF 
 Worked at Crosby-Ayers Funeral Home as removal tech
 Can totally see and speak to the dead (WTF YO)
 He’s your ex-boyfriend and you didn’t know he saw dead people? NO :( :( :(
 Engaged to King Grell, so he’s gonna be Asta’s step-daddy, and oh yeah his little brother is Ell
 Soul is bound to Graham, a little boy who drowned with Ted when he tried to save him at the beach. I was able to bring Ted back with my starsight and resurrect him, but I couldn’t save Graham. :( :( :(
 People used to call him Teddy or Teddy Bear because of his size (pretty sure he hated it)
 Parents were both Lucian, but he learned a little bit about Sages from the funeral home
 
 
 
 Name: King Grell
 Star Sign: Atherael
 Registered: kitty cat people do not register
 Sagittarian: multiple magical abilities including shapeshifting, manipulating time, mental texting
 Eye Color: golden
 Hair Color: black
 Features: pointy meow meow teeth
 King of the Asra, Thiazi desu Grell Tirana Diago Tasha Mondet (holy crap that’s a lot of name)
 Can trace his family lineage all the way back to the Mondet Rebellion against the old gods :O
 Voted most likely to get detained for illegal activities by his primary class, very avid Tetris player, reigning Miss Pretty Petunia Pageant Champion, very good at Mario Kart, amigurumi crochet, Battleship, and Hungry Hungry Hippos.
 Married 656 years to Vael Crem, one son – Asta
 Although he’s super sarcastic and kinda crazy, he is a legit good king and loves his people very much
 
 
 
 Name: Elwood Q. Chase
 Star Sign: Baubel
 Registered: Fire
 Sagittarian: Shartorath’s Hearth
 Eye Color: blue
 Hair Color: red
 Features: his awesome long hair and brown fedora
 Totally dating Gordoth (aka Gordoth the Slut) and he’s super ridiculously happy and adorable <3
 My uncle! :D :D :D (My father’s older brother)
 AVPD Detective, super awesome cook, might be the most messy person in the entire universe XD
 Parents were kinda agonal agnostic but they did the conversion thing to be Sages before they died.
 Always skips the second Die Hard movie
 Bought his trusty fedora a few years ago right around the same time he met Merrick
 Been a cop for like a million yearssss (idk he’s old)
 
 
 
 Name: Gordoth the Untouched AKA Merrick
 Star Sign: Ernkael
 Registered: Divine (well, his vessel was)
 Sagittarian: God of Justice and Righteous Wrath
 Eye Color: blue
 Hair Color: black
 Features: might have a stick up his butt idk Loch said something one time but yeah green tentacles
 Super corny sense of humor, loves dopey puns
 AVPD Detective, partners with Uncle Elwood and ahem romantic partners toooo <3<3<3
 Benjamin Merrick was a detective that Gordoth admired and maybe he oops got him killed so took over his body to keep Merrick’s legacy going!
 Gordoth is Loch’s uncle, one of Salgumel’s brothers
 Brother of Salgumel, Shartorath, Yeris, Ulgon, Elgrirath, Zarnorach, Xarbon, Solmach, Eb, Ebb. Ebbeth, and Lozathin, spawned by Baub, the child of Zunnerath and Halandrach, they who were born of Etheril