Regretting You

Regretting You T. Ashleigh Copyright © 2023 by T. Ashleigh All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission. This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental. Designations used by companies to distinguish their products are often claimed as trademarks. All brand names and product names used in this book and on its cover are trade names, service marks, trademarks and registered trademarks of their respective owners. The publishers and the book are not associated with any product or vendor mentioned in this book. None of the companies referenced within the book have endorsed the book. Cover Designer: Ariadna Basulto Editor: Proofs by Polly Formatter: Willow Thomas Regretting You - playlist by T. Ashleigh | Spotify Follow Me Bring Me- The HorizonBored- Billie EilishCruel Kids- YungbludHonest Kyndal- InskeepThink about me- JXDNLie To Me- 5 Seconds Of SummerAlways Been You- Jessie Murphy Worst of You- Maisie Peter'sHate Me- Juice WRLD &Ellie GouldingNow or Never- HalseyRuin My Life- Zara LarssonIn My Veins- Andrew BelleArcade- Duncan Laurance Monsters- Timeflies & Katie SkyCarry You- Ruelle & FleurieCare enough for two- ashley KutcherBroke Me First- Conor MaynardShameless- Camila CabelloI'd hate me too- Gavn!At Least- Jessica BaioEmotionless- Ashley kutcher To my dad “I miss you a little. A little too much, a little too often, and a whole lot more each day.” Rest peacefully. Blurb T yler- Some days I wish I’d never met Gregory Baldwin. Then there are days when I feel like I’ll die if he’s away for too long. It’s like I’m addicted to him. Addicted to the attention he gives me and what he does to me in secret. He has lips made for sin and a body I can’t keep my hands off of, but mostly, I know he has a heart. That’s what keeps me coming back. Now he’s cruel, malicious, possessive… nothing like the boy I once knew. And yet, deep down, I know that guy is still there under this bad boy exterior. He has to be, or everything we’ve been through is pointless. Being with him feels like dying and surviving all at once. It’s wild, manic, and soul-crushing, but it’s us. He’s all I’ve ever had and the only thing I’ll ever want. Because even when I hate him… I love him ten times harder. Greg- I’m broken beyond repair, too fucked up to be saved. My mind fights demons daily, while the shattered organ in my chest only causes me pain. I wish I could just end it all. Say goodbye to this miserable existence. Only, to leave this life would mean leaving him, and that’s not something I can do. Once I made a promise to a boy that I plan on keeping. The years may have dragged us apart, and I know he hates me now, but that’s okay. I don’t blame him; I hate myself, too. Regardless of the animosity, one thing remains the same: Tyler. He’s the constant in a haze of self-destruction. The one who somehow, after everything, is still there for me, no matter how badly I mess up. I don’t deserve him. I never did, but I’ll never let him go either. He is mine, and I am his. Content Warnings H omophobia Depression Depressive thoughts Loss of a parent/character death Underage drinking Drug mentions Bullying Mental Illness Complicated Grief Suicidal thoughts This book is intended for 18+ audience due to sexual and graphic content. If you have any questions, email me at [email protected] Introduction Regretting You is book three in the Lionheart Academy series. This interconnected series can be read as a standalone, as each book revolves around a different couple. However, reading them in order is recommended due to world building and background information you learn over the course of the series. Contents Prologue How it started: The beginning Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Start of Senior Year Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Epilogue Also By T. Ashleigh Stalk T. Ashleigh Acknowledgements Prologue Greg For a long time, I thought I’d come back from the shell of a person I’ve become. I thought maybe, just maybe, the old me would revive and come bursting through the depressive fog I’ve hidden under for so long, ready to be set free… It’s been three years, and that hasn’t happened yet. Depression is a real bitch. Then tack on the bit of anger and resentment I carry because why not just add to the never-ending shit pile that is my life? Three years. It’s been three years since I lost my mom, and nothing has been the same. My online therapist would say ‘Just take it day by day,’ ‘Your mom would want you to be happy,’ ‘Healing takes time.’ Well, fuck time and fuck that quack job of a therapist too. I bring the bottle of vodka to my lips, enjoying the burn as the liquid slides down my throat. ‘No one said life was easy,’ he’d said during our last phone call. I hung up. Yeah, no one said it’d be easy, but no one said it was complete and utter hell either. Like how about a fucking warning? I’m not naïve. Bad things happen to good people all the time. I’m just saying, you never think it’ll happen to you… Until it does. And that’s