Author/Uploaded by Danny Wallace
Contents Cover Title Page Dedication Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Cha...
Contents Cover Title Page Dedication Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-One Chapter Twenty-Two Chapter Twenty-Three Chapter Twenty-Four Chapter Twenty-Five Chapter Twenty-Six Acknowledgments About the Author and Illustrator Copyright Guide Cover Start of Content Title Page Dedication Acknowledgments About the Author and Illustrator Copyright III V VI 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 The Boss of Everyone! Danny Wallace Author of bestselling The Day the Screens Went Blank Illustrated by Gemma Correll First published in Great Britain in 2023 by Simon & Schuster UK Ltd Text copyright © 2023 Danny Wallace Illustrations copyright © 2023 Gemma Correll This book is copyright under the Berne Convention. No reproduction without permission. All rights reserved. The right of Danny Wallace and Gemma Correll to be identified as the author and illustrator of this work respectively has been asserted by them in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988. Simon & Schuster UK Ltd 1st Floor, 222 Gray’s Inn Road, London WC1X 8HB www.simonandschuster.co.uk www.simonandschuster.com.au www.simonandschuster.co.in Simon & Schuster Australia, Sydney Simon & Schuster India, New Delhi A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. PB ISBN 978-1-3985-1738-7 eBook ISBN 978-1-3985-1739-4 eAudio ISBN 978-1-3985-1740-0 This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental. For my mum, who taught me how to see the good in everyone, and who’s shown her grandchildren the very same. Are you sitting up straight? No? Well… Are you sitting up straight… now?! One, two, three – eyes on me! It’s your own time you’re wasting. I can do this all day! Well, actually, I can’t, so let’s just start the lesson. I mean, the STORY! Because this is the story of how one girl (me) got the best job in the world ever. So how did I do it? How did I become my dad’s actual boss? Let’s start in the most magical, wonderful place on Earth. Let’s start in a place where dreams come true, where the sun always shines, where the smells of clean hallways and freshly scrubbed toilets dance across your nose like pure fairy dust. SCHOOL! Just like you, I absolutely love school. Can’t get enough of the place. At school, every day is a lesson. In fact, every lesson is a lesson. My name is Joss Pilfrey and I’m in my last year at Twin Pines Primary. Next year I’ll go to Woodhall Secondary School, which I cannot wait for. I’ve already memorized where all the buildings are so that I don’t waste any time getting lost when I could be learning. My new school will be the making of me. All my current teachers are very keen for me to go. For now, I’m doing my best to get as much out of the time I have left at Twin Pines as possible. I have been made Star of the Week more times than anyone else. You get made Star of the Week if you get the most gold stars on the Star Chart for star-like behaviour. I am the person who makes sure all the art stuff is put away properly, so I get a star for that. I’m always first to get into my gym kit and I’m always last out of the classroom, once I’ve made sure all the windows have been shut properly and the guinea pig has water. A classroom pet is not supposed to be fun – as I always remind everybody – it is merely a way of developing responsibility. And when a question is asked, or a volunteer is needed, I always, ALWAYS put my hand up. I also study the teachers very carefully to make sure they are doing everything correctly, and I am quick to point out when they’ve stuffed up. I provide this service absolutely free of charge – although I don’t seem to get many stars for that. Yes, I feel I am ready to progress to the next level in school and life, which is what I tell my head teacher every lunchtime when I eat my sandwiches in her office