The Grumpy Count

THE GRUMPY COUNT ROMANTIC COMEDY WHAT THE ROYALS WANT (IT’S RAINING ROYALS) ALIX NICHOLS A NOVEL IN THE MONTEVOR ROYALS SAGA Copyright © 2023 Alix Nichols Editing provided by Janine Savage All Rights Reserved. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons is purely coincidental. No part of this publication may be reproduced, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or otherwise, without written permission from the author. * * * CONTENTS About the Author Foreword Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Epilogue Author’s Note Books by Alix Nichols Preview of THE BOSS PRINCE ABOUT THE AUTHOR Alix Nichols is an unapologetic caffeine addict and a longtime fan of Mr. Darcy, especially in his Colin Firth incarnation. She is a USA Today bestselling author of sexy, riveting romances that “keep you hanging off the edge of your seat” (RT Book Reviews) and “deliver pure pleasure” (Kirkus Reviews). At the age of six, she released her first book. It featured highly creative spelling on a dozen pages stitched together and bound in velvet paper. Decades later, she still writes. Her spelling has improved (somewhat), and her books have topped bestseller charts around the world. She lives in France with her family and their almost-human dog. Connect with her at alixnichols.com, or at: Amazon Facebook BookBub Goodreads FOREWORD Thank you for downloading “The Grumpy Count”, a full-length standalone romance in the Montevor Royals saga. * * * Margot Nolan here—a feminist in a tight spot. I’m currently working out of a London mansion, property of Count Jonas d’Alenq. He took in my theater company after the previous host dropped us a week before the start of our show, “The Immersive Pride and Prejudice Experience.” But, of course, there’s a catch. Beneath his wealth, good looks and love for his young son, Jonas d’Alenq is an ogre with antiquated ideas. An ogre who asked to play a part in the show. Not just any part, but that of Mr. Darcy! His lordship is an amateur actor, you see. To show her gratitude, our director said yes. Big mistake! I play Caroline who fawns on Mr. Darcy. Flattering a macho man—whether he’s Darcy or d’Alenq—is no fun at all. Even more annoying is that despite our clashes, my silly heart flutters every time that macho smiles. And my unreasonable body melts when he kisses me… On the verge of betraying everything I stand for, I realize he has a secret agenda. What is our brooding host and his furtive visitors after? Is Jonas a spy? An upper crust criminal? Whatever he is, I’ll derail his plans. And he’ll never have his wicked way with me again! Well, maybe just one last time… * * * Click here to sign up for my monthly newsletter! (or type this url into your browser: alixnichols.com/freebies) You’ll be the first to hear about my new releases, giveaways, and special offers. You will also receive newsletter-exclusive content (epilogues, anecdotes, pics…) and a free romantic comedy novella. No spam, ever. I hate it as much as you do. alixnichols.com/freebies CHAPTER 1 MARGOT I wander around for fifteen minutes until I stumble on the Sky Hall. The mansion is huge and full of winding corridors, but that’s not the reason for my protracted search. It took me so long because I went upstairs first. But guess what? The Sky Hall is located on the ground floor. Ha-ha. Whoever named that hall must’ve thought herself very clever. She wasn’t. By the time I scurry in, most of the cast has already arrived. They’re now flocking to our director Sandra—a plump mixed-race woman with a gray-streaked mane billowing around her bespectacled face. On the program today is a fresh read-through for our host’s benefit. He hasn’t arrived yet. Sandra points at me. “Margot, I want Caroline Bingley to fawn on Darcy like he’s made of gold. Think Anna Chancellor chasing after Colin Firth in the 1995 BBC show. And then chase harder.” As much as I worship that adaptation, I don’t see my Caroline Bingley being quite as cringey as Anna Chancellor’s. It has nothing to do with my feminist views or the fact that I despise women behaving that way, I promise! Respectfully, I begin, “What about—” She flashes a palm. “No.” “But Caroline is such a haughty, proud woman,” I try again. “My advice is to imagine she has a switch she uses to turn off her dignity wherever she gets a chance to flatter Darcy.” “OK.” Giving up, I nod. But someone else takes up the torch. “I believe Caroline is obsequious enough with Darcy the way Jane Austen wrote her.” That was Peter who plays my brother Charles. It’s sweet of him to side with me against our director. He’s been nothing but kind ever since Sandra brought me in to play Caroline. Everybody on the cast and crew has been helping me fit into the Sandra Wright Company, but this guy has gone the extra mile. “True,” Sandra agrees with him. “Except, our production is immersive. Our audience pays accordingly and expects to partake in the fun. That is why I want a more intense Caroline.” Liam, her assistant, chimes in, “Ten grand! It’s what seven of them forked out each to be Elizabeth Bennet for a day. We owe those superfans a challenging rival.” “If our Elizabeths have to work hard for their prize, they’ll appreciate it even more,” Sandra says to me. “Understood.” I do see their point. When