Ways to Improve Bailey

CONTENTS 1. Ways to Improve Bailey #11 2. Ways to Improve Bailey #7 3. Ways to Improve Bailey #12 4. Ways to Improve Bailey #9 5. Ways to Improve Bailey #13 6. Ways to Improve Bailey #5 7. Ways to Improve Bailey #14 8. Ways to Improve Bailey #15 9. Ways to Improve Bailey #16 10. Ways to Improve Bailey #2 11. Ways to Improve Bailey #3 12. Ways to Improve Bailey #1 13. Ways to Improve Bailey #6 14. Ways to Improve Bailey #4 15. Ways to Improve Bailey #17 16. Ways to Improve Bailey #18 17. Ways to Improve Bailey #8 18. Ways to Improve Bailey #19 19. Ways to Improve Bailey #20 20. Ways to Improve Bailey #21 21. Ways to Improve Bailey #10 22. Ways to Improve Bailey #19 23. Ways Bailey Has Improved Acknowledgments About the Author Immortal Immortal Works LLC 1505 Glenrose Drive Salt Lake City, Utah 84104 Tel: (385) 202-0116 © 2023 Cori Cooper www.coristories.com Cover Art by Ashley Literski http://strangedevotion.wixsite.com/strangedesigns All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For more information visit https://www.immortalworks.press/contact. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. ISBN 978-1-953491-53-4 (Paperback) ASIN B0BYWQS15R (Kindle Edition) To Jackee and Melissa Inklettes Forever WAYS TO IMPROVE BAILEY #11 TELL THE TRUTH I really need to tell a lie right now. When I made that stupid promise to my stupid brother, Dayton, last week, I didn’t realize how hard it was going to be to tell the truth all the time. “Bailey?” Marnie’s big brown eyes reminded me of Bambi. “I asked you what you think about Todd.” Exactly the problem. If she had asked me what I thought about the new Ryan Reynolds movie or Dove moisturizer cream, I could give her a pretty awesome monologue. Asking me about Todd was just mean. “Oh, shoot, Marnie! Would you look at that gummy bear bin? It’s totally empty. I should refill those right now.” I went to work as if gummy bears were the most important thing in the whole world. Right up there with keeping your Netflix subscription current. Marnie eyeballed the half empty bin for just a moment before her eyes lit up. “Did you notice who’s buying all the gummy bears?” “I didn’t, sorry.” I stuck my bottom lip out in gross exaggeration. Gross exaggeration is not lying. Well, probably not. “Oh, too bad!” Marnie mimicked my pouty face, except hers was totally sincere. “That’s okay, though. I’ll try to pay attention while I’m here. Gummy bears are so tricky to match. They go with gummy worms, of course, and chocolate, and any of the fruit toppings, but that’s pretty much it.” “Um hm.” I pulled a new package out from under the counter and looked around for the scissors. “Wait, what do you mean gummy bears are tricky to match?” Most likely this was another one of Marnie’s Pinterest-inspired projects, but it didn’t really matter. What mattered was that she gave me the perfect opportunity to change the subject. The more we talked about something else, the less we talked about Todd. And the less we talked about Todd, the better. Marnie licked her spoon and dipped it back into her frozen yogurt cup. “Didn’t I tell you? I thought I did.” I shook my head. “Bailey, it’s the most amazing thing! I can totally match people together, like as couples, based on their favorite frozen yogurt or ice cream and what they choose to put on top.” I paused with the scissors poised in the air. “Are you for real?” “Yes!” Marnie nodded so enthusiastically that her brown curls bounced around her head like manic springs. “I had the idea when Ricky and I broke up. I can’t believe I didn’t tell you about this!” “You told me about Ricky.” I sliced open the top of the gummy bear bag. “I remember cause that’s when you decided you were giving up on love forever.” Marnie leaned her cheek into her hand, making her lips pooch out. “Oh, yeah. That’s right. For a little while there, I thought love was impossible! It looks so easy in the movies. Meet the perfect person, fall in love, have a three-quarters-through-the-movie falling out, make up, get married. Simple, right?” “Sure,” I nodded. “Easy peasy.” “But then,” Marnie straightened and laid her spoon on the counter, so she could emphasize all her words with hand gestures, “I watched a documentary about penguins. Penguins mate for life; did you know that? And the male sits on the egg. It’s crazy! I was eating a huge bowl of chocolate ice cream with fudge on top, and I had this flash of inspiration: Ricky always ate sherbet with zero toppings, and I always choose chocolate ice cream with chocolate toppings. Sherbet and chocolate do not go together. That’s why we didn’t work.” There was no doubt that Marnie was completely serious. She fully believed that what she said was true. It was lucky she didn’t ask my opinion about it because lying would be necessary to preserve our friendship. “I tested it out with some of our friends,” Marnie said. “Who?” Now I was interested. It was like getting sucked into the tabloids at the grocery store. The more ridiculous, the better. “Darek likes banana-flavored everything, and Hazel is obsessed with peanut butter, so they are meant to be together. Also, Randy and Zuri. He likes coconut, and she’s crazy about pineapple. See?” Marnie spread her hands to the sides like that was all the proof I would ever need. “It really works! Well, actually it only works if the flavors and toppings are the person’s very favorite, not just a craving or a whim. That’s why I need to know what you