Living With The Past

LIVING WITH THE PAST Copyright © S. K. Graves, 2023 Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the copyright owner. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. Living With The Past is written in British English. Cover Designer: Pretty In Ink Creations Editing: Kat Pagan Formatting Designer: Design By Kage Formatting: Michaella Dieter Content Warning Living With The Past is an MM romance, but not all sexual encounters in this book are MM. Please note this book is dark and contains themes which some may find difficult to read. Triggers are personal to each individual, but I have listed the main ones below. I have tried to handle these topics with care, but at the same time, I didn’t want to gloss over them or water them down. As a writer, I need to stay true to my characters and the profound affect these events had on them, so you can gain a greater understanding of their mindset. If you feel any of these may be harmful to you, please do not continue to read. Graphic sex and language Manipulation Child Abuse (from the prologue) Attempted Rape Rape Drug Use Forced Drugging Suicidal ideation Degradation Self-Harm Taboo Relationships Contents Playlist Prologue 1. Kayden 2. Kayden 3. Rhys 4. Kayden 5. Rhys 6. Kayden 7. Kayden 8. Rhys 9. Kayden 10. Rhys 11. Kayden 12. Rhys 13. Rhys 14. Kayden 15. Rhys 16. Kayden 17. Rhys 18. Unknown 19. Kayden 20. Kayden 21. Rhys 22. Rhys 23. Kayden 24. Kayden Afterword Acknowledgments Also by S. K. Graves About the Author Playlist Get You The Moon – Kina ft snow Beautiful Way – You Me At Six Suffocate – Nathan Wagner Casualty – Hidden Citizens Bodies – Drowning Pool Like A Nightmare – Deadset Society Antidote – Faith Marie Last Resort (Reloaded) – Papa Roach, Jeris Johnson Glass Heart – Tommee Profitt, Sam Tinnesz happier than ever – Loveless Satan, Hello – KAMAARA, 8oz. Parasite Eve – Bring Me The Horizon Breaking Down – I Prevail You Never Know – Beartooth Tourniquet – Breaking Benjamin Hurricane – I Prevail Limits – Bad Omens Low – I Prevail Legacy – Motionless In White Voices – Motionless In White Coming Undone – Korn Impossible – I Am King Why Am I Like This? – The Word Alive Voices – Hidden Citizens I Saw Fire – TARO Riptide – Saint Chaos Popular Monster – Falling In Reverse Another Life – Motionless In White A Grave Mistake – Ice Nine Kills To Tell You the Truth – Written By Wolves Nightmare – The Veer Union My Monsters – New Years Day TRIALS – STARSET Alone In A Room – Asking Alexandria Let ‘em Burn – NOTHING MORE Drugs – Falling In Reverse Antisocial - Asking Alexandria Carry On – Falling In Reverse Would Anyone Care – Citizen Soldier F E R A L – Bad Omens Fix Me – Charcoal Tongue Happy Song – Bring Me The Horizon Monster – Hidden Citizens, Ryan Innes Hypnosis – Sleep Token Blood Sport – Sleep Token Distraction – Sleep Token Gods – Sleep Token Alkaline -Sleep Token Chokehold – Sleep Token The Offering – Sleep Token Fall For Me – Sleep Token This is for the broken. Don’t let their darkness eclipse your light. You are not tainted, dirty, or disgusting. You definitely are not weak. Show them you how strong you really are. Reclaim what they thought they could take from you and show them who really is weak. You are perfect. Remember every single shattered piece of you is worthy of love. Prologue Frigid air claws at my skin like a swarm of razor-sharp icicles, viciously digging into my pores and numbing my senses with bone-chilling dread. I reach out for the sanctuary of my duvet. But it’s gone—taken without my consent—leaving me exposed and vulnerable. My body convulses with a primal fear that paralyses me. I feel every muscle in my body stiffen as I struggle to make sense of what’s happening. My heart thunders like a herd of wild horses, as awareness of a presence filters through my brain. The realisation hits me like a sledge hammer, shattering any misconceived idea of safety or security my mind desperately tried to cling to. I’m wide awake now, my senses on high alert, waiting for the next move of what lurks in the darkness. No. Not again. As the bed dips beneath an unseen weight, my body is pulled closer to the menacing being behind me. This isn't a nightmare—this is reality—a living horror I can’t escape. My stomach lurches as the rank smell of cigarettes, vodka, and Lynx Africa body spray invades my senses like a cruel intruder. I can't draw breath without the nauseating aroma searing my nostrils and clawing at my throat. Every muscle in my body is tight with dread