Monster Girl Mayhem

Hey you. Yeah, you. You should join my Patreon page . When you join, you will get preview chapters of my future books to both read and listen to. You’ll also be able to see cover art sketches and get copies of sexier, NSFW versions of my already super sexy covers. If you are into audiobooks, I have a tier where you get 3-4 every month included for a crazy low price. Woah. Click here, or search for my name on Patreon.com If Patreon isn’t your jam, you can always join my Facebook group to get updates there Chapter 1 “Doug?” the clearly-high teenage boy called out from behind the Taco Bell counter. “Is there a dude named Doug here?” “There’s only two people here, man,” my best friend, Ray, said with an amused snort. “And I’ve already got my food.” “Oh,” the Taco Bell employee said as he placed the tray of food down on the counter. “I guess your food’s all ready then, man.” “Thanks,” I said as I walked up to collect my much-needed spread of bean burritos, nachos, and enchiladas. When I got closer to the counter, my sense of smell was completely overpowered by a mixture of strong weed and Axe Body spray, and I chuckled as I watched the Taco Bell employee turn and take a few awkward steps back toward the kitchen while the smell followed him like an obedient puppy. I suppose that sort of thing was to be expected when you went to a Taco Bell at eleven o’clock at night on a Tuesday, when the rest of the regular world was settling into bed and getting ready for another boring-ass day of work in the morning. Of course, that was what Ray and I should have been doing, too, but we’d both had such a rough day that we decided to bury our sorrows in the soggy, underfilled goodness of a dollar-fifty taco instead. Ray took off his UNC baseball cap as I came back to the table, and I watched as he set it down in the booth next to him and shook his shoulder-length brown hair like Fabio. “Don’t give me that look,” Ray chuckled as I sat down. “What look?” I asked innocently. “The same look my grandmother gave me when I told her I was growing my hair out,” he replied. “The look that says ‘do I love this kid enough to ignore his hippie hair? Or do I just go ahead and disown his Woodstock, Grateful Dead-loving ass right now?’” “I didn’t say anything, man,” I said with a smirk. “I’m more impressed that it’s able to stay so clean when you’re doing manual labor around experimental chemicals all day long.” “Lyfetech doesn’t let me into the rooms where they store the experimental shit,” Ray said as his green eyes narrowed. “At least, not while they’re actually working on it. I’ve been inside the actual rooms like, dozens of times, but always long after they remove the goods… They don’t want their beloved military secrets getting leaked by a lowly janitor like me.” “Is that what Lyfetech’s up to now?” I asked with a raised eyebrow and unwrapped my burrito. “Biotech for the military?” “They’d never admit it.” Ray shrugged his awkward, Frankenstein -esque shoulders before he bit into a taco. “But pretty much, yeah. They’ve always got dudes in suits hustling in and out with high-security briefcases, and one time I was cleaning up some sort of chemical spill in a lab and overheard the technicians talking about some guy they referred to as ‘the General.’” “The government probably doesn’t want their arrangement to go public, considering Lyfetech’s less-than-stellar reputation,” I said. “Why, whatever are you referring to?” Ray said with a smirk. “The chemical fire that broke out at the Raleigh branch that couldn’t be put out by water or extinguishers, which killed fourteen people?” “Actually, I was referring to the time that Lyfetech scientist got caught selling company secrets to the Russian government,” I said in a sarcastic tone. “Or wait… Maybe I’m thinking about the incident where they inadvertently caused an entire native plant species to go extinct here in North Carolina by messing around with genetically modified flora.” “Orrrrr there was that time the CEO got busted for insider trading and then didn’t do a single second of jail time because he was so filthy rich that he ‘allegedly’ bribed the judge,” my friend added. “That dude’s more powerful than Martha Stewart, apparently!” Both of us shared a laugh as we began to eat our not-quite-midnight snack, which was somehow both satisfying and disgusting at the same time. My burrito was packed with greasy, unidentifiable meat and overflowing with savory beans, which mingled together perfectly with the slightly spicy nacho cheese that was peppered throughout the mixture. It may not have been much, but it was just what I needed after a long day of sending emails and listening to presentations from interns about how to rebrand Her-Mitage’s new line of feminine hygiene products. “Fuck, that’s good,” I said with a mouthful of burrito. “Even better,” Ray chuckled. “It’s affordable!” “You can say that again,” I agreed. I wasn’t exactly hurting for money at the moment, though I wasn’t exactly on top of the world, either. Sure, I could pay my rent on time and had enough to cover my student loans and all the bills, but that only left me with a small slush fund to pay for groceries, entertainment, and anything else I wanted to do in my spare time. I may not have been poor, but I had seen the inside of this very same Taco Bell way too many times. “Sooooo,” Ray asked through a mouthful of enchilada. “What’s up with you, Doug?” “What do you mean?” I said. “I just wanted some grub.” “Ohhhh, no.” Ray shook his head. “How long have we been friends?” “Since I was in college,” I replied. “So… ages ago.”