Ryder : Shadows and Desires

First Printing Edition 2023 Copyright © 2023 by Charlotte Mallory www.charlottemallory.com All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. ASIN: 979-8-9862555-2-1 Editor: Ana Joldes www.houseoffables.com Created with Vellum C O N T E N T W A R N I N G: This series contains explicit sex scenes, characters who learn to live with grief, references to trauma, reactions to trauma, & vulgar language. This is a DUOLOGY where Book 2 picks up right where this one ends. This book has a Happy For Now ending with a mild cliffhanger in the Epilogue. Series ends with a HEA. D E D I C A T I O N I first have to thank Sookie for being a wonderful gift to my writing process and a fantastic reader/fan. This book is here because of her. I thank all my readers who have supported me—every one of you who has commented on this book; I am thinking of you. To my family, who continue to support me on this interesting journey of trying to become an author! Contents 1. Coffee Stains and Surprises 2. Joining the Gym 3. The Offer 4. Motivation 5. The Phone Call 6. Dolores and Tiffany 7. The Gym Name and Cookouts 8. Squelchy Audiobooks 9. Twisted Coffee and Pittsburgh Trash 10. Sinkholes 11. Sitting on a Couch 12. Things Are Changing 13. Imagination and Chemistry 14. The Calm Before it All 15. Your Fantasy Man 16. Heat 17. One Step at a Time 18. Competition 19. Caution 20. No Hesitation 21. Thoughts of Her 22. Confession 23. Let’s Go, Slow Poke 24. Pinned on Sweaty Sheets 25. Epilogue Thank You Sequel Synopsis Acknowledgments About the Author J U L I E * * * They always say not to meet your heroes but never anything about your celebrity crush. Or the protocol if one is unlucky enough to spill coffee on them—let alone how to recover if it’s also the first encounter. I observe how the stain—thank goodness it’s lukewarm—spreads on the white sleeveless undershirt of a legendary MMA fighter. My reaction is less than impressive: open-mouthed, palms sweating, staring wide-eyed. That man is Joey Ryder. I gawk at the renowned face that my brother would have dropped everything to greet, even if it was a fluffy puppy. Hell, Jeremy might’ve chucked the damn dog to shake the hands of this man. “Oh wow. I am so incredibly sorry,” I blurt out. “I just—you’re Joey Ryder.” Andrew, the head coach of the gym, stands next to Ryder as he painfully says, “Great welcome, Stevens. Really sells the gym.” Well, what does Andrew expect? This man is the acclaimed icon that disappeared over the past three years. His name used to rest on the tongue of anyone following the sport until he was just gone. People could only offer empty guesses as to what happened. Even his old fighting coach went into a quiet retirement. And now Ryder is here. I rub my eyes as if it’ll help me see him better, but it’s him, alright. He’s dressed like a fighter in sweats and an unzipped hoodie, a stained shirt underneath. Even through the thick fabric, his shoulders are pronounced. He holds his arms out in surprise. He’ll be smelling like espresso and caramel syrup for the rest of the day. Ryder looks down at himself with an expression that he built a brand on—a rigid, enduring glare. There’s something about his hooded lids—along with the permanent angry shape of his eyebrows—that gives him a certain look. My heart pounds like I finished running five miles, still trying to understand why Ryder miraculously appeared in our small-town gym like Andrew summoned him from a genie bottle. “I’m really sorry,” I plead, trying to refocus. “Let me get a towel.” Andrew swiftly interjects, “I have some in my office.” It’s so quiet in the gym that I can hear the lyrics of the song playing. The men huddle, staring at Ryder like he’s a celebrity in one’s local hair salon. Ryder raises a brow to intensify those stern blue eyes. He looks like he’s filtering through what to say until he settles on, “Yeah, uh… It’s whatever, man.” And like a fan that stumbled backstage, I give the weirdest freaking chuckle and continue to say nothing, especially at hearing his gravelly voice in person. There’s so much riding on this first encounter, and I’ve already blown it. Andrew rocks back and forth on his feet. “Anyway, she’s not normally this broken. Maybe she should take some time off. Right, Stevens? And uh, drink some water instead.” My head wants to nod, but it goes in many directions as I also want to deny that I’m broken or that I should swap out my coffee for water. Andrew mutters to Ryder, “So, let’s hope Julie can collect herself. But she is our sports therapist. We should probably go hammer out some details now that you’ve seen the place.” Ryder gives me a quick once-over. Get it together, Stevens. My spine stiffens as I gather my frenzied mind. “Yeah, no, seriously, I am just really excited to see you here and kind of shocked. My family used to watch you on the screen years ago. Especially my brother. Welcome to the gym. Aside from spilling coffee on you.” Slowly biting his broad lower lip, Ryder gives the smallest nod. Andrew guides him away, giving a speech about Rhino MMA. Little has changed about the fighter since he was last seen, except maybe his pale blue eyes appear to be a little older. Despite being an MMA fighter, his long, slightly wide nose is relatively straight, with only a slight bump in the middle. His square jaw encases everything in a perfect display of an unnecessarily