Stilled

Copyright Copyright © 2020 by M. L. Hargy All rights reserved. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without written permission of the copyright owner except for the use of quotations in a book review. For more information, address: [email protected] First paperback edition March 2023 Book design by Coffin Print Designs Editing by Tara Edits ISBN 979-8-3742-07149 (paperback) A Note From The Author Stilled is a dark romance book and due to the graphic contents and explicit scenes in this book, it is intended for mature audiences, 18+ only, and is purely a work of fiction. The full list of triggers are- Graphic violence, swearing, age gap, stalking, kidnapping, infertility, impregnating, body shaming, alcohol & drug abuse, emotional abuse, violence, rape, death of parental figure, physical abuse, domestic abuse, murder, sexual abuse, and blood. Reader discretion is advised. Playlist Reckless- Madison Beer Six Degrees of Separation- The ScriptAll I Ask- AdeleAll Too Well- Taylor SwiftOnly Love Can Hurt Like This- Paloma FaithCan’t Help Falling In Love- Haley ReinhartDon’t Look Back In Anger- OasisOcean Eyes- Billie Eilish Fight Song- Rachel PlattenAll I Want- KodalineFingers crossed- Lauren Spencer SmithLay Me Down- Sam SmithCreep- Kina GrannisFlowers- Lauren Spencer SmithThis- Megan McKenna Dedication To all you dark romance readers, I’ll see you in hell X Contents 1. Samantha 2. Elijah 3. Samantha 4. Elijah 5. Samantha 6. Elijah 7. Samantha 8. Elijah 9. Samatha 10. Elijah 11. Samantha 12. Elijah 13. Samantha 14. Elijah 15. Samantha 16. Elijah 17. Samantha 18. Elijah 19. Samantha 20. Elijah 21. Samantha 22. Elijah 23. Elijah 24. Samantha 25. Samantha 26. Elijah 27. Samantha 28. Elijah 29. Samantha 30. Elijah Acknowledgments About Author Also By Chapter one SamanthaAt last. One long year later and I’m finally here. I jog at a steady pace out of Central Park, the leaves, which have turned golden brown thanks to the early autumn season, crunch against my feet. Maneuvering through the pedestrian-filled streets, I make my way home. The air is crisp and as I round a bend, the sun peeking through the trees.It’s almost overwhelming how much unpacking that still needs done. Every time I try to focus on this new city and finding a new job. Thoughts of him are constant and no matter how much faster or further I run, I can’t stop.Today, I would have become Mrs Samantha Hughes. A feeling grows inside me, one I can’t explain. How a day that once seemed so exhilarating is now marred by memories of the monster he has become. The gentle words of love he once crooned became bitter and coarse, ripping me down so I was constantly exhausted. Those hands that once were gentle, became weapons which left bruises that ran so deep.I don’t feel comfortable around anyone anymore.The lasting effects that are permanently imprinted after being abused, both physically and emotionally, can be unbearable. They bring an unsettled feeling deep into my core. Like butterflies in the pit of my stomach, only these are not the nice butterflies you get when you’re in love. No, this churning ache comes from the exact opposite of love. After all this time, I still can’t shake the feeling of nausea and anxiety that trickle through my veins.When walking down the streets, I constantly watch everyone with a drumming feeling in my chest. There’s a feeling like he is always there, lurking, when in reality he isn’t. There’s an ever-growing feeling like all eyes are on me, thanks to the demons he planted in my head.It all becomes too much and my feet become rooted, stopping me dead in my tracks. Sometimes, my chest becomes restricted, unable to catch a breath. It’s not from the running, but from the thought of him. The thoughts rush in unexpectedly, the fear practically choking me, yet washes away just as quickly. My feet strike down on the sidewalk once more, an abundance of anger inside me as my speed builds to a sprint. Asshole.Rounding the corner of my block, my steps falter and slow to a stop as I notice the stinging sensation coming near my fingertips. I didn’t realize how tightly I’d been holding myself together. Gazing down at my hands, there’s a slight discomfort radiating as my fingertips peel from my palms, and ease the pressure of balling them into fists for the entire run. There are half-moon shapes indented into my sweaty hands. My hands wipe down on my running pants before slamming my apartment door closed behind me. After my shower, it’s time to face the inevitable—dressing for the job interview. My toes press against the hardwood floor as I step quickly to get to the carpet in my bedroom. “The place is getting colder by the day,” I mumble as a shiver runs down my back. We have to get the landlord in to figure out the heat. Once in my room, my eyes fall the notepad by my phone. I’ve already highlighted numerous jobs, and set up interviews, but now that the time has come, I dread the actual act of dressing, heading out, and meeting people.Hot pricks of tears burn behind my eyes. I’m sick of feeling this way. Not worthy, not good enough. This was a mistake. No. I can’t go there. Dropping my towel, my eyes roam over my round hips. And Penny envies this? I shake my head, ridding myself of the thoughts. I thought a hot shower and a good scrub might help with the anxiety of a new start, but I’m doubting my master plan. There’s no way I’m letting myself get into another self-deprecating argument with the girl in the mirror. New city, new life, and brand new clothes. These are supposed to help me feel