The Coldest Winter

THE COLDEST WINTER BRITTAINY CHERRY CONTENTS The Coldest Winter Author’s Note Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37 Chapter 38 Chapter 39 Chapter 40 Chapter 41 Epilogue Want More Starlet and Milo? Brittainy Cherry’s Newsletter The Elements Series The Compass Series Also by Brittainy Cherry Acknowledgments About the Author Connect With Brittainy: Want More Starlet and Milo? About the Author THE COLDEST WINTER Brittainy Cherry By: Brittainy Cherry The Coldest Winter Copyright © 2023 by Brittainy Cherry All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the author of this book. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental. This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return it and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author’s work. Published: Brittainy Cherry 2023 Editing: Emerald Edits, Lawrence Editing, Virginia Tesi Carey, Editing: My Brother’s Editor, Editing4Indies Sensitivity Editing: A Book A Day Author Services Cover Design: Murphy Rae Created with Vellum To anyone who has lost themselves and fought like hell to find their way home. This one’s for you. AUTHOR’S NOTE This story came from a place of love and the utmost care. It is a tale about honoring the different stages a person might go through when grieving the loss of loved ones. I wanted to create a raw and honest story to show that the path to healing differs for each individual traveling down said road. For those reasons, I’d like to note that parts of this story may be sensitive to a few readers due to the subject matter, which includes substance abuse, depression, illness, and the topic of death. PROLOGUE Eleven Months Ago My world, The first year is the hardest. That’s what I remember from when I lost my mother. I remember feeling as if the world were moving in slow motion, yet somehow spinning wildly out of control at a wicked speed all at once. It was as if every little thing triggered me in some way. Even happy occasions felt depressing because I realized she wasn’t there to celebrate the big moments with me. What was worse was that she wasn’t there for the small moments. The small moments sometimes felt even more important to me than the big ones. I’m sorry I’ll be missing out on the moments. The big ones. The small ones. The in-betweens. I’m sorry I won’t be there to give you the pieces of me you’ll need when the world gets heavy. I’m sorry our goodbye came sooner than we’d hoped. But I do want to leave you with something. A gift of sorts. It’s my recipe box. You know how much this means to me, and I want to pass it down to you. Hundreds of my favorite meals I’ve made for you throughout your life are within it. If you ever feel inspired to cook a meal, I want you to have this. I hope this helps you feel me when you lose your way. I hope you taste my love in every single bite. I love you always. And then a little bit more after that. Find me in the sunrises. I’ll always be there, waiting to shine on you. Con amore, Mama CHAPTER 1 Starlet January Present Day The day I turned fourteen, I created a life plan. I knew what I wanted and saw the roadmap to get everything I desired. Step one was to graduate from college with a degree in education like my mother did. Step two was to get engaged to my boyfriend, John, by graduation. Step three, start my teaching career and land a fantastic job. Then to have kids by twenty-three always seemed right. I knew what my life was supposed to look like, and as I entered the second semester of my junior year of college, I was sure I was on the straight and narrow path to my dreams coming true. I prided myself on being levelheaded. If there were a word to describe me, it would be perfectionist. I always did the right thing because I had an irrational fear of failure. I wasn’t one to step out of my security box, as I knew all the angles of said box. I knew the ins and outs of my protected walls of stability. I had no problem staying on the right path—I liked my safety net. That afternoon, I stood in front of the full-length mirror of my shared dorm room, smoothing my hands over my white A-line dress. Beside said mirror was the vision board I’d created with every item I planned to accomplish. Many people updated their vision boards yearly, but I was lucky enough to have the same precise vision since I was a teenager. I knew who I was. Therefore, I knew what I was becoming, and that afternoon was bringing me one