The One That Got Away


 
 
 the
 one
 that
 got
 away
 
 the
 one
 that
 got
 away
 
 CHARLOTTE RIXON
 
 
 
 
 
 
 www.headofzeus.com
 
 Please be aware that this book contains themes readers might find upsetting, including references to self harm, sexual violence and child abuse.
 
 First published in the United Kingdom in 2023 by Head of Zeus Ltd, part of Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
 Copyright © Charlotte Rixon, 2023
 The moral right of Charlotte Rixon to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act of 1988.
 Epigraph quote from Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca reproduced with permission of Curtis Brown Ltd, London, on behalf of The Chichester Partnership. Copyright © 1938 The Chichester Partnership.
 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
 This is a work of fiction. All characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
 A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
 ISBN (HB): 9781803289984 ISBN (XTPB): 9781803289991ISBN (E): 9781803289960
 Head of Zeus
 First Floor East
 5–8 Hardwick Street
 London EC1R 4RG
 WWW.HEADOFZEUS.COM
 
 
 
 For anyone who ever looked back and wondered: ‘what if?’
 
 
 
 ‘I am glad it cannot happen twice, the fever of first love. For it is a fever, and a burden, too, whatever the poets may say. They are not brave, the days when we are twenty-one. They are full of little cowardices, little fears without foundation, and one is so easily bruised, so swiftly wounded, one falls to the first barbed word.’
 Daphne du Maurier | Rebecca
 Contents
 Title Page
 Copyright
 Dedication
 Epigraph
 April 2022
 PART ONE
 April 2022
 March 2000
 March 2000
 March 2000
 April 2022
 April 2022
 March 2000
 April 2022
 March 2000
 March 2000
 March 2000
 April 2022
 March 2000
 April 2000
 April 2000
 April 2022
 April 2000
 April 2000
 May 2000
 May 2000
 April 2022
 June 2000
 June 2000
 July 2000
 July 2000
 August 2000
 April 2022
 April 2022
 PART TWO
 November 2012
 November 2012
 November 2012
 December 2012
 January 2013
 March 2013
 May 2013
 May 2013
 May 2013
 May 2013
 May 2013
 May 2013
 May 2013
 May 2013
 May 2013
 PART THREE
 April 2022
 June 2017
 July 2017
 July 2017
 July 2017
 July 2017
 July 2017
 July 2017
 July 2017
 July 2017
 July 2017
 February 2018
 February 2018
 PART FOUR
 April 2022
 June 2002
 June 2002
 June 2002
 June 2002
 June 2002
 June 2002
 June 2002
 June 2002
 PART FIVE
 April 2022
 April 2022
 April 2022
 April 2022
 April 2022
 April 2022
 April 2022
 April 2022
 April 2022
 April 2022
 April 2022
 April 2022
 PART SIX
 March 2023
 May 2023
 May 2023
 Acknowledgements
 Author’s Note
 About the Author
 An Invitation from the Publisher
 April 2022
 4.57 p.m.
 It’s a hotter day than anyone anticipated for April and he’s sweating, but not just because of the heat.
 The backpack, so carefully laden with its components just a few hours ago, is sticky against part one
 April 2022
 5.02 p.m.
 Clara
 The woman next to her in the ladies’ loo is staring down at the row of handbasins in confusion.
 ‘It’s on a sensor,’ Clara says, smiling. ‘Just wave your hands underneath, see?’