With Every Breath

With Every Breath By H. D’Agostino With Every Breath H. D’Agostino Copyright  June 2023 by Heather D’Agostino All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission from the author. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. All characters and storylines are the property of the author and your support and respect are appreciated. The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. The following story contains mature themes, profanity, and sexual situations. It is intended for adult readers. Cover Design by Vanilla Lily Designs Editing by Kellie Montgomery Table of Contents Prelude Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 With Every Breath Playlist Acknowledgements About the Author Other Works by H. D’Agostino Prelude Bailey My eyelids feel like a weight is hanging on them. No matter how hard I fight to open them, they stay closed. My lips are dry, cracked, and rough. I’ve tried licking them a few times, but it doesn’t seem to help. My body aches. It’s a constant reminder of my reality. The beeping of the monitor lets me know I’m here. I hear a sigh, and then feel his hand. A welcoming comfort to the harsh reality of life. “I’m going to get something to eat. I’ll be back in a few.” He squeezes my hand to make sure I heard him, and I squeeze back. I fight to nod, but it’s just too much. As I hear the door click shut, I let myself fall back to sleep. Surrendering to my dreams where nothing hurts, and my baby’s ok. ooooooooo Dex A month doesn’t seem that long, but when the days bleed together it feels like an eternity. I know these halls by heart. I’ve walked them every day for the last forty-six days. The nurses all know me. They smile when they see me, and nod. It’s as if they know what I’m thinking, and they are trying to offer comfort. I’ve been home a few times. My mom moved in three weeks ago to help. She begs me to sleep at home, but I can’t. I need to be near her. She’d want me to be near her. Her sacrifice needs to mean something, and me being here does exactly that. Every moment of every day is important, and the one thing that Bailey’s taught me is…Live every day as if it were your last. You never know when it all might end. Chapter 1 Bailey- age 12 When you’re a kid, nothing bad is supposed to happen. Kids are kids, and bad stuff happens to old people. At least that’s what I thought. I’ve been tired a lot lately, sleeping more than I should, falling asleep at school, and then the nosebleeds started. My mom took me to the doctor, and that’s when my world began to fall apart. Over the last three weeks, I’ve been to five different doctors, or specialists, as they call themselves. I don’t know what makes them so special. They give bad news; I know that much. Today my life as a regular kid ended, and this nightmare began. “Hey, Mom?” I called from the backseat. My dad was driving, and Mom was pretending that everything was fine. That was her thing. She was good at ignoring the bad and concentrating on the good. “Yeah, sweetie?” She glanced over her shoulder, but then quickly turned around. It were as if looking at me brought all the information she had dumped on her right back to the surface, and she seemed to be trying really hard to keep it pushed down. “Can we get ice cream on the way home?” I smiled. I didn’t understand the magnitude of this diagnosis yet, but within the next week, I would. “Sure. Whatever you want.” Mom smiled, and then gave Dad a look. ooooooooo The next several days went by in a blur. My parents seemed to be on different pages. Dad wanted to face reality, and beat it. Mom wanted to pretend that it was no big deal. Since when is cancer not a big deal? I spent a lot of time in my room, staring at the wall. I had a Brad Pitt poster beside my bed, and I’d often talk to him as if he could actually answer. I’d hug my pillow, and pretend I was just tired from the soccer game I’d played earlier in the day. Leukemia would never be the cause in my head. It was an odd name, and I refused to believe that something like that could take me out. When the day for my first treatment came, I asked Dad to drive. Most kids want their moms, but I’d always been a daddy’s girl. I dressed in comfy clothes; the doctor said we’d be there a while and waited in my dad’s car for him to join me. I forced a smile as we pulled out of the driveway and headed to the hospital. It didn’t really hit me until we parked. Dad turned to me and with a stern look on his face, he said words that I’ll never forget. “You fight this, baby girl. You are strong, and nothing can beat you.” Looking back, he had tears in his eyes that day, but he was right… nothing could beat me. ooooooooo The poison dripped into my arm for over three hours that day. I slept on and off. At one point, I think I was dreaming. My dad stayed right beside me, holding my hand through it all. When my treatment was finished, the nurse warned me