Zack and Todd Versus the First Four Books (The Adventures of Zack and Todd)

ZACK AND TODD VERSUS THE FIRST FOUR BOOKS THE ADVENTURES OF ZACK AND TODD NANDO GRAY Copyright © 2023 by Nando Gray All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law. For permission requests, contact Nando Gray. Incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred. It’s all a happy, make believe sort of situation. Book Cover by Nando Gray Created with Vellum TABLE OF CONTENTS Zack & Todd Versus The Missing Member 1. Welcome to Maine 2. Kennebunkport 3. Brunch is Lunch 4. Cascadia Omni-Core Kinematics 5. Interlude 6. Mainely Straits 7. Daddy 8. Epilogue Afterward Zack & Todd Versus The Long Hard Weekend 1. Gas Station Lobster Rolls 2. Paris is for Lovers 3. Oinky-Boinky 4. Bonfire 5. Captain McGee 6. Home 7. Epilogue Afterword Zack and Todd Versus the Wet Hot Summer 1. Snail Trail 2. Whipscrew 3. Gargoyle 4. Wet & Hot 5. Fuck Puddle 6. The Bridge Afterword Zack & Todd Versus The Rock Solid Fall 1. Shadow Todd 2. The Bell 3. Cabin in the Woods 4. City on a Bridge 5. The Rock Solid Fall 6. Piggy Bank 7. Mom 8. The Wilds 9. BOOK V CHAPTER 1 FREE PREVIEW: Bethany Afterward About the Author Also by Nando Gray To the Zack and Todd in each of us. Never stop believing in love. -Xoxo, Nando 1 WELCOME TO MAINE Todd stiffened. He hated bridges. Hated. Them. And the one looming up in front of him now seemed to reach out into the gray fog that enveloped it with an abandon that Todd took almost personally. Because while Todd had spent the last four years studying at the University of Boston—just a mere stone’s throw from here—he had also very much managed to avoid visiting his father and his new(est) wife up in Maine. Until now. Until he’d had no other choice. And Todd would be quickest to admit: free rent did have a certain (albeit forced) appeal, especially after his third unpaid internship had ended in an offer to nanny instead of actual work as an investigative journalist. Especially-especially after the last of his credit cards had reached its limit (and then a little over… oops). Todd carefully, out of well-practiced habit, brushed that little thought back under the rug he kept it so ill hidden under: the one in the back of his mind he did his best to forget about most days. I’ll. Be. Finnnnne, Todd assured himself. Right after I get across that bridge up there. Totally. One hundred percent. Fine. But… he probably should have listened to that career counselor at BU: the one who had suggested something more practical than journalism—something like bartending. Great advice for a college career counselor to give a student, Todd had scoffed at the time, especially an introvert like me. Though, looking back now… maybe that guy had been right after all. Anyway, thanks to that, and other similarly helpful advice that was similarly ignored, Todd was now in the enviably unenviable position of moving back home after college—without a job—and very much with seventy-five thousand dollars in student loans that seemed a worse and worse idea to have taken out at all in hindsight. Attempting to be a grown-up fucking sucks, Todd reflected direly, and not for the first time, believing even now that he was fundamentally lacking in some imaginary skillset, as though if only he could just unbox the right tools, he’d be able to set himself upright. Todd pinched himself mentally, forcing his mind to focus on the drive: on what was in front of him, not behind him. Good luck with that, he thought with not just a small hint of irony. In the least—the very, very least—Todd hadn’t asked his dad to bail him out… yet. And he very much hoped things wouldn’t ever come to that. Because even if Todd did ask—even if he were made to stoop that low—he was far from certain what the answer would be. He caught himself in the dingy rearview mirror, and wasn’t at all surprised to see that his ringlets of reddish-bronze hair were a total and complete mess. At this point those curls nearly covered his honey-amber eyes, dancing along the edges of the apricot freckles that splashed across the bridge of his nose and spilled over onto his cheeks in whimsical patterns. Each curl was a slightly different length. Each a little out of place. Some stood out at odd angles. None of them cooperated in any semblance of democratic ideals. It was as though none of them wanted to be there. At present Todd felt he completely understood their sentiments: he didn’t want to be here either. Yet here he was. He grimaced. And this very much wasn’t Todd’s best look—however, it did very much seem to be his only look. Had been for some time. Even still, somehow people tended to find him somewhat handsome, if not in a bit of that unruly, boyish sense. He’d never shared any fragment of that conviction himself, although even he would be forced to admit that he’d come into his own somewhat over the last four years. Especially after all that time in the gym with his ex. And people apparently vibed his whole Huckleberry Finn gone ginger thing, too. They even liked him—a bit—once he’d gotten a little more comfortable with himself. Sure, they found him a bit weird. A bit quiet. And he was very much both of those things in moments. In flickers. But even as those glum doubts echoed around the interstates of his mind, Todd couldn’t help but half smile in spite of himself: a flash of a memory had escaped