A Pirate's Life for Tea: A Cozy Fantasy with Ships Abound

Dedication To the people who gave me one star reviews because the first book "had lesbians." I doubled the lesbians in this one. Just for you. Author's Note Please note that this novel is intended to be the sequel to the first Tomes & Tea novel, Can't Spell Treason Without Tea. However, as this trilogy is mostly episodic, you can definitely understand and enjoy this book without reading Book 1. Content Warnings: violence, oppression, near-death experiences, blood, drowning (This novel is a cozy fantasy. Although my books have higher stakes than other cozies, you are guaranteed a happy ending . This novel is best enjoyed on a quiet night with a fireplace, a beloved pet, and a cup of tea.) Chapter one ReynaThere were days when Reyna missed the heart-pounding thrill of guarding a queen. It wasn’t often. She rather loved her quiet life as a teamaker in the small, icy town of Tawney. Loved her friends and their daily drama. Loved the cozy barn-turned-bookstore she’d created with her partner, Kianthe, and the warmth that filled it. Entire days were spent watching the clouds pass. Reyna’s biggest concern was how well her baby griffon would take to training that day. Accomplishments came in the form of a quiet kiss or a particularly tasty blend of tea. But against all odds, Reyna had a certain nostalgia for her old job. Guarding a notoriously vicious queen. Stalking assassins through crowded ballrooms. Hunting down conspirators in back alleys. Besting the most skilled swordsmen in the Queendom in private duels. Again, it wasn’t often. But sometimes.So, a thrill raced through Reyna as she and her fiancée crested the hill and surveyed the organized chaos of Diarn Arlon’s home.“A ball?” Reyna couldn’t keep the intrigue out of her voice. “Diarn Arlon is hosting a ball tonight?”“That would explain why no one but the stable boy was around to greet us.” Kianthe crossed her arms. “Gotta admit, I didn’t see this coming.” The diarn’s riverside estate was massive, spanning an area that could have fit the entire town of Tawney comfortably. But the party was centralized to a manicured lawn beside the powerful Nacean River—Shepara’s largest river, so wide the opposite bank was barely visible. A six-piece orchestra filled the nighttime air with gentle swells of music. Torches illuminated a well-stocked buffet table, and square tiles constructed a dance floor over the spongy grass. All of it was visible from their position at the top of the hill, where she and Kianthe perched in the shadows of Diarn Arlon’s looming mansion. But the best part? Constables—Diarn Arlon’s private guards—patrolled everywhere. Their black uniforms and silver badges reminded Reyna vividly of her own cohorts, of the days when she and Venne would prowl the edges of Her Excellency’s ballrooms clad in crimson and gold. Her hand drifted to the sword at her hip, and she bounced on her toes. What was Diarn Arlon expecting tonight? Bandits? An assassin, perhaps? She hadn’t drawn her weapon for anything other than practice drills in so long.Beside her, Kianthe bounced for a different reason. “Well, no complaints. By the Stone, that’s so much food. Do you think it’s free?” Reyna snorted. “Darling, we’ve hardly starved up to this point.”“Okay, sure, but home-grown plants only go so far.” Kianthe gestured down the hillside. “Look at that spread! Turkey, pork, fish… The salmon here is incredible. You have to try it.”“We’re here for a reason, Key. We don’t have time for—” Reyna paused as movement caught her eye, “—for salmon,” she finished lamely. Down near the riverbank, one of the constables glanced over her shoulder, then slipped into the pine forest that circled the manicured lawn in a dark embrace. The constable vanished in a breath. Hmm.“Rain?” Kianthe poked her shoulder, then followed her gaze to the forest. “You have that ‘something’s wrong’ look. What’s happening?”“I don’t have a ‘something’s wrong’ look,” Reyna replied. “Sure, you do. Your eyebrows twitch, and you start smiling.” Reyna smoothed her expression, but inside her chest warmed. No one else had ever noticed anything like that, not until she started dating Kianthe. The Arcandor continued, amused now: “You’re also the only person I know who smiles at the first sign of trouble.” She tossed her short, dark hair over her shoulder and casually ignited one palm in flames. “So, who’s causing problems tonight? The food can wait.”They’d been dating for years, but Reyna would never get used to seeing a mage just… light themselves on fire. It was lucky everyone else was near the river—otherwise, they’d definitely be attracting attention.Reyna squeezed Kianthe’s arm, feeling the heat of the flames and trusting she’d never be burned. “First, you are wonderful, and I love you dearly. Second, not everything is a problem.”“Mmm. Sure. But when you get that look, something usually is.”Reyna squinted again at the trees. “It’s probably nothing. A constable went into the forest, that’s all. It’s odd that she’d leave her rotation.”“It is odd she’d… leaf… like that.”Reyna leveled an unamused stare at her fiancée. Kianthe grinned. “Okay, sorry. Maybe that is her rotation.” The mage extinguished her palm by shaking the flames out, like one might after dunking their hand in water. She rocked back on her heels, tugging her cloak tighter around her shoulders as a chill swept off the river. Kianthe didn’t love the cold.“The diarn—is he a diarn or a councilman?”“Well, technically he’s a diarn who serves on the Council, but his title will be ‘diarn.’”Reyna nodded, then moved on: “Well, Diarn Arlon has established eight points of focus around the party, and six additional rotations covered by eighteen constables. Seventeen, now.” Her thumb rubbed circles over the clay disc on her sword’s pommel, the one Kianthe had magicked to cover Queen Tilaine’s royal insignia. “Every rotation stays within sight of the grounds. It’s possible he’d have more in the woods, but no one else is crossing lines.”Kianthe stared at her. Reyna quirked an eyebrow. “Something to say, love?”“You’re sexy as hells