Always Isn't Forever


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, New York
 
 
 
 First published in the United States of America by Razorbill, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, 2023
 Copyright © 2023 by J.C. Cervantes
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 library of congress cataloging-in-publication data
 Names: Cervantes, Jennifer, author.
 Title: Always isn’t forever / J.C. Cervantes.
 Other titles: Always is not forever
 Description: New York : Razorbill, 2023. | Audience: Ages 12 years and up.
 Summary: Reeling from the death of her best friend and soulmate, Hart, Ruby struggles to move on until she meets Jameson, who unbeknownst to her is actually Hart’s soul in the body of the local bad boy.
 Identifiers: LCCN 2022051254 (print) | LCCN 2022051255 (ebook) | ISBN 9780593404485 (hardcover) | ISBN 9780593404492 (epub)
 Subjects: CYAC: Grief—Fiction. | Soul—Fiction. | Interpersonal relations—Fiction. | LCGFT: Novels.
 Classification: LCC PZ7.C3198 Al 2023 (print) |
 LCC PZ7.C3198 (ebook) | DDC [Fic]—dc23
 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022051254
 LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022051255
 ISBN 9780593404485 (hardcover)
 ISBN 9780593619575 (international edition)
 ISBN 9780593404492 (ebook)
 Cover art © 2023 by Karmen Loh
 Cover design by Kristie Radwilowicz
 Design by Rebecca Aidlin, adapted for ebook by Michelle Quintero
 This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
 The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.
 pid_prh_6.0_143736954_c0_r0
 
 
 
 For the hearts that refuse to live in an “orderly house of reasons and proofs.”
 
 
 Part One
 
 The Celestial Record of an Angel
 I am in the business of the afterlife.
 My position dictates that I document all human encounters. I’ve had hundreds of such encounters. And in every single one I have yet to meet a human who does not believe in some iteration of romantic love. It is certainly not my place to disabuse anyone of this notion, but believe me when I say that very few humans possess a love strong enough, pure enough, to carry into their next incarnation.
 And let’s be honest, humans too often think they are in love, but thinking has no place in matters of the heart. And the word love? Well, humans fling it around like loose change, but rarely have they tasted its true essence.
 Alas, very few souls will ever experience forever love. Personally, I’ve never seen it.
 But this account isn’t about me. This account is about Hart and Ruby, it’s about first love and the power of memories, it’s about how deep a heart can break before it shatters. But mostly? This tale is about a life that was taken too soon and the journey that single event set all of us on.
 
 
 
 One
 Hart
 ~ Twenty-five hours before the end ~
 It’s always been Ruby.
 That’s the first line of this “assigned” love letter, and it’s all it takes to get the juices flowing and put me in the zone.
 
 From the first time I saw her eleven years ago at the local garden center, freeing some ladybugs from their netted prison. There she was, six years old, a mere fifteen feet from me, ripping open the small nets.
 She had this fierce expression on her face, lips pressed together, dark eyes blazing with determination. And just like that, I was sucked into her orbit. Even at the ripe old age of seven, I knew she was uncommon.
 I still remember how my heart lurched, screaming at me to go over and help her, to be her partner in crime: Take a risk! But I’m not built that way, never have been. Risks lead to injury and injury leads to pain and pain leads to misery. See the problem? Besides, I was seven and the thought of landing in Dick’s Garden jail sounded like the worst kind of misery.
 So I hung back with my eyes glued to her, like she was some story and I needed to see how it ended.
 Some of the ladybugs were smart enough to take flight; others crawled over the netting, and the rest? They landed on Ruby’s arms and hands. She just stood there, smiling, observing them with this kind of awe that I wished everyone in their life could experience even once.
 Most people would have fled the scene of the crime, but not Ruby. See, Ruby’s a study in daredevilry. She didn’t care if she got caught. All that mattered to her was setting those damn ladybugs free.
 A wedge of sunlight spilled onto Ruby’s golden-brown tangled hair. She looked up. Her eyes met mine. My face burned with the heat of someone doing something wrong. “Are you a good liar?” she asked.
 I quickly spun away, knocking a tiny pot of mint off the shelf. I shrugged, feeling lost in my own skin. “Uh, not really.”
 She marched over with so much purpose, I thought maybe I should run, but she was already standing right in front of me. The ladybugs still clinging to her.
 “Well, you have to be,” she insisted as she picked up the mint pot and put it back in its place. “If anyone asks,