Simon Sort of Says


 Contents
 
 Title Page
 Copyright
 Dedication
 Content Notice
 One
 Two
 Three
 
 A Note About the Sides
 
 Four
 Five
 Six
 
 A Note on Time
 
 Seven
 Eight
 Nine
 Ten
 Eleven
 
 Another Note on Time
 
 Twelve
 Thirteen
 
 A Note on Lockdowns
 
 Fourteen
 
 A Note About Explosives
 
 Fifteen
 Sixteen
 Seventeen
 
 A Note About the Patron Saint of Getting Hit by Lightning
 
 Eighteen
 Ninteen
 Twenty
 Twenty-one
 Twenty-two
 Twenty-three
 
 A Note About News Vans
 
 Twenty-four
 Twenty-five
 Twenty-six
 Twenty-seven
 
 A Note About Falling
 
 Twenty-eight
 
 A Note About Saints
 
 Twenty-nine
 Acknowledgments
 About the Author
 
 
 
 Guide
 
 Cover
 Title Page
 Copyright
 Table of Contents
 
 
 
 
 
 Copyright © 2023 by Erin Bow
 All rights reserved. Published by Disney • Hyperion, an imprint of Buena Vista Books, Inc. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the publisher. For information address Disney • Hyperion, 77 West 66th Street, New York, New York 10023.
 The author is supplying the websites at the end of this book for your informational purposes. These organizations are not affiliated with the publisher or its parent or affiliated companies and they make no representations concerning the information provided.
 First Edition, January 2023
 Designed by Phil Buchanan
 
 The author acknowledges the support of the Canada Council for the Arts and the Ontario Arts Council.
 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
 Names: Bow, Erin, author.
 Title: Simon sort of says / by Erin Bow.
 Description: First edition. • Los Angeles ; New York : Disney Hyperion, 2023. • Audience: Ages 8–12. • Audience: Grades 4–6. • Summary: Two years after a tragedy saddles him with viral fame, twelve-year-old Simon O’Keeffe and his family move to Grin And Bear It, Nebraska, where the internet and cell phones are banned so astrophysicists can scan the sky for signs of alien life, and where, with the help of two new friends, a puppy, and a giant radio telescope, Simon plans to restart the narrative of his life.
 Identifiers: LCCN 2022012737 • ISBN 9781368082853 (hardcover) • ISBN 9781368089999 (ebook)
 Subjects: CYAC: Psychic trauma—Fiction. • School shootings—Fiction. • Interstellar communication—Fiction. • LCGFT: Novels.
 Classification: LCC PZ7.B67167 Si 2023 • DDC [Fic]—dc23
 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022012737
 Visit www.DisneyBooks.com
 
 Contents
 Title Page
 Copyright
 Dedication
 Content Notice
 One
 Two
 Three
 A Note About the Sides
 Four
 Five
 Six
 A Note on Time
 Seven
 Eight
 Nine
 Ten
 Eleven
 Another Note on Time
 Twelve
 Thirteen
 A Note on Lockdowns
 Fourteen
 A Note About Explosives
 Fifteen
 Sixteen
 Seventeen
 A Note About the Patron Saint of Getting Hit by Lightning
 Eighteen
 Ninteen
 Twenty
 Twenty-one
 Twenty-two
 Twenty-three
 A Note About News Vans
 Twenty-four
 Twenty-five
 Twenty-six
 Twenty-seven
 A Note About Falling
 Twenty-eight
 A Note About Saints
 Twenty-nine
 Acknowledgments
 About the Author
 for survivors
 
 CONTENT NOTICE
 Though this book does not depict violence, it deals with the aftermath of violence, including post-traumatic stress disorder. Resources for anyone seeking mental health help can be found at the end of this book.
 
 
 People are always asking why my family came to the National Quiet Zone.
 Like we need a reason. I mean, who wouldn’t want to live in a place with no internet and no cell phones and no TV and no radio? Who wouldn’t want to live surrounded by emu farms in a town that’s half astrophysicists and half people who are afraid of their microwaves? I mean, isn’t that the American Dream?
 Hint: no.
 Obviously, there’s a story. So when people ask, I tell them we left Omaha because we were driven out by alpacas.
 Back in Omaha, my dad, who’s a Catholic deacon, was the liturgical director at one of the big churches in the suburbs. That means he planned the Masses and things—like a wedding planner, but for Jesus. One of the highlights of his year was the Feast of Saint Francis, where they bless the animals.
 The animal blessing can be a little tricky, even when it’s just cats and dogs plus the handful of four-year-olds who bring gerbils in cages and goldfish in bowls. People aren’t always super smart about it. They don’t think, “You know, there are going to be dogs so maybe Mr. Tuna should stay in his kitty carrier for the hour-long Mass.” Usually at least one cat climbs on at least one head.
 But the year we had to leave, my dad forgot to make a list of pets you can bring and—this is the important part—pets you cannot bring. So in addition to the cats and dogs, there was a potbellied pig, two alpacas, a giant tortoise, and a great horned owl named Sandy.
 St. Francis could talk to wolves, but Father Kirk was not so blessed. Three years ago a freaked-out tomcat named Pinky got spooked by the bulldog in line behind him. He leaped from his owner’s arms and took refuge under Father Kirk’s vestments. Pinky clawed his way up Father Kirk’s leg and—well, let’s just say it’s a good thing Father Kirk had already taken that vow of celibacy.
 The Pinky incident marked a real turning point in the relationship between Father Kirk and my dad, who likes to embrace what he calls “a little holy chaos” when he plans church stuff. St. Francis would probably approve, but Father Kirk did not.
 And, last year. The alpacas. The ones my dad forgot to ban.
 There were two of them, and they were being led up the aisle for a blessing when one of them blinked its cartoon eyelashes and stopped so abruptly that the tortoise, being pulled up the aisle behind them, slid off the back of its dolly and started to make a slow break for freedom.
 The frozen alpaca stood looking at the altar, and some kind of ancestral memory kicked in