With Every Memory

“Rosche’s latest novel offers a compelling look at a woman who, after losing her memory, feels like a stranger in her own family. The unraveling of her past takes the reader on a journey that will have them flipping pages long into the night. With Every Memory is a moving tale of hope and healing.”Denise Hunter, bestselling author of the Riverbend Romance series“With Every Memory is a memorable story of damaged, imperfect people trying to rise above the rubble of tremendous tragedy. Raw and gritty, this is my favorite type of novel. It is highly affecting, and I nearly read through it in one sitting. I’m still sitting here thinking about it.”T. I. Lowe, bestselling author of Under the Magnolias“Heartrending and redemptive, With Every Memory is a poignant story that follows the aftermath of loss in a hurting family and the guiding hope that leads them home again.”Nicole Deese, award-winning author of All That Really Matters“At times messy, emotional, and altogether tender, With Every Memory is a story that will feel familiar to readers, a story that feels entirely true. It’s also a story of forgiveness, resilience, and overcoming. This is a novel you don’t want to miss.”Susie Finkbeiner, author of The All-American“Memories are a slippery thing, especially when you have a traumatic brain injury. Even knowing her memory gap has swallowed years of her life, Lori Mendenhall isn’t prepared for how lackluster her life is compared to the vibrant one she remembers. In a powerful family story about awakening and holding on to who we love, Rosche tackles the question, How would you live your life differently if you could start over?”Janyre Tromp, author of Shadows in the Mind’s Eye © 2023 by Janine RoschePublished by Revella division of Baker Publishing GroupGrand Rapids, Michiganwww.revellbooks.comEbook edition created 2023All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.ISBN 978-1-4934-4141-9The quote on page 128 is from Djurdjak Bartlett, FashionEast: The Spectre that Haunted Socialism (Cambridge: MIT Press, 2010), 141.The lyrics on pages 259–60 are reprinted with permission from P. W. Gopal’s song “Awaken” (from the album Still Voices, © 2004 P. W. Gopal).This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.Baker Publishing Group publications use paper produced from sustainable forestry practices and post-consumer waste whenever possible. For those who have fought the good fight— for your recovery and healing, for your dreams, for your identity, for your children, for the memory of those who have passed on, or for your marriage— whether you were able to find restoration or not, this book is for you. author’s noteThis novel contains difficult and potentially triggering topics, such as death of a child, sexual assault, adultery, and divorce. I have tried to handle each of these issues with sensitivity while also showing the reality of trauma in the family system. If you have experienced loss, adultery, or divorce, I recommend seeking professional help through the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy: www.aamft.org.If you or someone you know has experienced rape or sexual assault, please contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at (800)-656-HOPE (4673) where you can access a range of free services, including: confidential support from a trained staff membersupport finding a local health facility that is trained to care for survivors of sexual assault and offers services like sexual assault forensic examssomeone to help you talk through what happenedlocal resources that can assist with your next steps toward healing and recoveryreferrals for long-term support in your areainformation about the laws in your communitybasic information about medical concerns contentsCoverEndorsementsTitle PageCopyright PageDedicationAuthor’s Note123456789101112131415161718192021222324252627282930313233343536373839404142434445EpilogueAcknowledgmentsKeep Reading For A Sneak Peek At Janine Rosche’s Next Engrossing NovelAbout the AuthorBack AdsBack Cover oneLORIEven the best makeup couldn’t hide the fact that I’d been raised from death to life. A sound—half chuckle and half sigh—skimmed my lips as I placed my Givenchy powder and brush in my travel case. If Deirdre, my favorite nurse, heard my thoughts, she’d tell me to display my scars proudly, as I was “a walking testimony of the good Lord’s mercy and grace.” A walking testimony. She’d never caught the slip, and I’d never called attention to it.I placed the travel case in the basket on the front of my walker and then began my trek to my chair. I’d no sooner caught my breath than a knock sounded at the door. “Come in.”“Good glory, Ms. Lori!” Deirdre sauntered through the doorway like she was wearing a gold-breasted choir robe instead of the same green scrubs all the nurses at the rehab center wore. She spread her arms wide and let the door swing behind her. “Are you excited? It isn’t every day you get a second chance at life.”“I am excited. To sleep in my own bed, cook my own food, read with my childr—” I swallowed hard as reality struck. “My daughter.”“That sounds wonderful.”I checked my watch. Nearly nine. “I should make sure I have everything.” I readied myself to stand, prompting Deirdre to quickstep to my side and offer her arm as a support. With a flick of my hand, I waved her off. “I must get used to doing all this on my own. May as well start now.”Using the armrests as support, I leaned forward and pushed with my legs. Fire ripped through my quadriceps—a feeling I’d learned to appreciate. Months ago, I’d felt nothing in those muscles at all. After I straightened, I waited for vertigo to come. It didn’t, thank heavens. Perhaps it had slept in. Meanwhile I’d been awake since four.“Don’t push yourself too hard now or you’re likely to end