All My Firsts

All My Firsts The Blue Ridge University Series Book One by Krista Swanson To my better half, You make me melt, too. Trigger Warnings This book contains themes that some may find triggering such as violence, sexual assault, and rape. If these topics bother you, this book may not be for you. First published in 2023 by MoDaMa Publishing Copyright © 2023 Krista Swanson All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any form without the prior written permission of the copyright owner, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law. All names and characters portrayed in this title are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental. The moral rights of the author have been asserted. ISBN: 979-8-9876062-0-9 (Paperback) 979-8-9876062-1-6 (eBook) Chapter art photo by: Maddie Swanson Cover designed by: Niki Ellis Design Edited by: Chloe Cran Prologue This damn conversation. To say I’d been dreading it would be an understatement. It had been hanging over my head for weeks, and I couldn’t avoid it anymore. I knew he’d fight me on my decision; most likely he would feign ignorance about the original arrangement. Begging wouldn’t work with him. Nothing worked with him. I would just have to do it. I had just gotten back from the park, where I’d been sitting in my car, people watching. I did that a lot. Sometimes it was to find people I wanted to be like, people who appeared carefree and were living what seemed to be their best life. Other times, I yearned to see people like me, trapped, so I wouldn’t feel so alone and isolated. That day, I was doing it to take my mind off of what I needed to tell Max. While I made the call to him, I was watching a happy couple eating ice cream together. Oh, the irony. Max wasn’t happy about having to leave work, but he promised to meet me at the house. As I waited for him by the pool, I was hoping to avoid the eyes and ears of my mom, who was inside. It was our typical location to hang out anyway, far enough away from the main house, affording plenty of privacy. Max never wanted our time together to be under the scrutiny of either of my parents. Even though he had started working for my dad, it hadn’t helped their relationship any. Everything was a façade with all of us, and we were always walking on eggshells around one another. The sweat was dripping down my back as I sat in the lounge chair, the early May sun scorching us already. I didn’t have a suit on because I never felt comfortable going in the pool when Max was around. Instead I saved my swims for late at night when I knew I’d be alone. Daydreaming in this pool, wishing my life could be different, was a favorite pastime of mine. The visions of me heading off to college, escaping the home that had become more of a prison, and starting over. And that was the plan I had conceived. Took me three years to do it, but the time had come. I just needed to make sure Max didn’t fuck it up. I heard the footfalls of his approach but chose not to turn my head to see him coming. With my nose still in my book, I pretended not to hear him until he announced himself. It was what I always did. “Lanie,” he barked. And even though I expected it, I still jumped. I closed my book to find him glaring down at me. His crossed arms were further proof he was annoyed with having to do this. “What is so fucking important I had to leave the office? Why couldn’t we talk about this over the phone or tonight?” The edge in his voice made me nervous, but if we stayed outside by the pool and didn’t go into the cover of the pool house, I should be OK. “I talked to my father, Max. Didn’t he tell you it was OK to come over?” I whispered. The bravado I felt before he arrived was dwindling, but I needed to maintain some of it. I needed to do this. “Yes, but that still doesn’t answer my fucking question. I’ve got shit to do, Lanie, and not just for your dad, but my dad, too.” His eyes avoided mine whenever he spoke about anything related to “work” and the expectations his father put on him while he was employed by my father. My father was a congressman in Texas, had been for the past fifteen years. He was well liked in our state and quite successful. However, a few years ago, the Marcello family contacted my father for some favors, one being to help Max with a political career. He’d been working in my father’s office ever since. At the same time, Max and I conveniently started dating. I was only sixteen at the time. Max was already eighteen. His parents wanted him to work while taking online classes for college, preferring him to advance politically as quickly as he could. “Um, well, I’m sorry, but this couldn’t wait until tonight.” I straightened myself on the chair, hoping to remain strong. “We need to have the talk about me going to college. Max, it was part of the deal; everyone said yes, that I was going to whatever school I wanted to once I graduated high school. You can’t keep me from going.” I tried to make my voice as forceful as possible, but that was a first for me. I had never stood up to him before. Not once in the two years since we had been thrown together by our parents. He put his hands in his pockets and looked off into the distance. If he wasn’t such an asshole, I might have enjoyed some of my time with him. He was handsome,