Closer

CLOSER A Sapphic Novel byJen Carter Copyright © 2023 Jen Carter All rights reserved. PROLOGUE Chapter 1 CHAPTER 2 CHAPTER 3 CHAPTER 4 CHAPTER 5 CHAPTER 6 CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 CHAPTER 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 CHAPTER 25 CHAPTER 26 CHAPTER 27 CHAPTER 28 CHAPTER 29 CHAPTER 30 CHAPTER 31 CHAPTER 32 CHAPTER 33 EPILOGUE PROLOGUE June “Well… that happened,” I say in a low voice as I turn my head to look at Charlie. Sitting on the beach as the surf washes in and back out always brings me balance and a calmness of mind. But not today. I’m not sure anything can calm my chaotic mind today. I so want to know what she’s thinking and feeling right now. Finally, after several seconds of silence and her refusal to look my way, I give up and shift my gaze back to the vastness of the ocean in front of me. I watch the rhythmic movements of the waves, praying I’ll soon find some semblance of calm. My thoughts keep crashing into one another like waves against the sand. So many thoughts. So many feelings. It’s a kind of chaos like I have never felt before. If I’m honest with myself, I have two thoughts I haven’t been able to shake since waking up this morning. What the fuck have I done? And the more dominant thought of the two, Oh my god, that was amazing! I’m trying so hard to understand how we got to this point in our friendship. But more than that, I want to know if I’m alone in these crazy feelings or if Charlie is feeling them too. Finally, after what seems like hours but is only a couple of minutes, Charlie turns to me with that cute half-smile of hers and says, “Yes. Yes, that happened. And how do you feel about it?” I stare out across the blue water, still a bit shocked that I’m even having this conversation with my friend. “Well, I’m not sorry it happened if that’s what you’re asking. But to be honest, I am a little mind blown.” Turning back to Charlie with a slight smirk. “A lot mind blown, actually.” “Yeah, I get that. So am I.” Charlie agrees with a chuckle. I shake my head, aware she probably won’t have any answers, but I still ask. “What about you? What are you thinking? How do you feel about what happened?” Charlie pushes her sunglasses up to hold her long auburn hair out of her face and looks at me thoughtfully. Then after a moment passes, in a quiet voice, she admits, “I’m not sure what to think or how I feel about it. But what I’m positive of is that I’m not sorry it happened either.” I reach over and lay my hand on Charlie’s arm, ensuring I have her complete attention before speaking, gesturing between us. “I’m not sure what this is. But I would like to find out. I need to know if you feel the same.” Chapter 1 4 Months Earlier Laughing till I cry is genuinely one of my favorite things in life. I don’t understand people that don’t laugh. They’re just repressed and weird, in my opinion. Laughter is the ultimate elixir for the soul. As Charlie and I continue laughing at the poor guy who, for reasons beyond me, decided he could sing and thought Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” was the way to go, I suddenly have an overwhelming need to touch her. Thankfully I stop myself before I reach out and touch her. A bit shaken, I wonder where in the hell that particular need had come from. Looking to escape whatever that was, I quickly stood. “I’m going to the bar to get another drink. Want me to get you one?” Charlie glances up at me with an odd look in her hazel eyes. “That sounds great. Thanks” Going to the bar allows me to put a little distance between us, take a much-needed deep breath and think about what just happened. I smile at the bartender as she walks over. “Hey, Nicole. Two more of the same and put them on my tab, please.” “Sure, Jamie. Just give me a few. It’s slammed in here tonight. Must be the rock star karaoke singers bringing in the business.” We both giggle because, in reality, tonight’s karaoke has been ear-bleedingly bad. Friday night karaoke at the Lighthouse is always entertaining, if nothing else. Some of the people that are brave enough, and sometimes simply drunk enough, to get on stage are decent. Others, like the Marvin Gaye wanna-be, not so much. Nicole heads to the other end of the bar to grab my drinks, so I take the opportunity to think about Charlie while I wait. It feels like I’ve known Charlie forever, but I’ve only known her for two years. Our daughters are friends, but until recently, Charlie and I were nothing more than acquaintances. However, in the last few months, we’ve spent more time together and have grown closer. But wanting to reach out and touch her… I don’t know what that’s about or where the thought came from. I don’t recall ever wanting to reach out and touch Charlie like I did. Sure, we’ve hugged hello and goodbye many times, so it’s not like I’ve never touched her. But that need I just felt… I’ve never felt that for anyone, much less my friend, Charlotte Moss. Charlie is the mom of my daughter’s best friend. What the hell? She’s married and a woman, for god’s sake! Just as the thought that Charlie is a married woman crosses my mind, Nicole returns with the drinks. While reaching for the two beer bottles, it hits me - It’s alcohol! It has to be the alcohol. That’s the only