Dating Midlife Demons: A Humorous Paranormal Women’s Midlife Fiction (Adept At Fifty Book 4)

DATING MIDLIFE DEMONS A HUMOROUS PARANORMAL WOMEN’S FICTION ADEPT AT FIFTY BOOK 4 HELOISE HULL Copyright © 2023 by Heloise Hull All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. Quotes from Hesiod’s Works and Days, lines 60-105. Created with Vellum CONTENTS Cursing Midlife Demons Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Author’s Note Also by Heloise Hull About the Author CURSING MIDLIFE DEMONS Stuck in the shadow realm, faced with the truth and straight out of luck. I’m more alone than ever. Even my friends are frightened of me. Happy mid-life to me! That is, until my demon in rusty armor comes to rescue me. Now, I realize the magical world is so much bigger than I imagined, and it turns out, bigger than anyone else did, either. The Knights Templar are determined to stage a comeback at any cost, and my star-lit blood is the key to their plans. With only a demon to guide me, I have to find a way out of the shadow realm and back to Earth before magic is unleashed everywhere—and with it, things more ancient than the Earth itself. A little snarky, a little epic, and still 100% fun, Cursing Midlife Demons is a PWF adventure novel full of powerful heroines who are aging like a fine wine and finding their place after fifty. History is merely a set of agreed upon-lies - Napoleon 1 The golden orrery whirred, sipping at first, taking what it wanted. My blood. Then, it began to gulp. If I intended on stopping this monstrosity, I needed to summon my strength and do the damn thing now. Death lurked in its shadow, its fingers sliding around my throat, looking for purchase, for a way in. I had to beat Death to his own game. Already, I was hallucinating. I thought I saw… I swore I saw… An unbearable lightness took over my limbs, and my eyes doubted their truth. “Romaine?” My body threatened to throw up or faint. Perhaps both. Both would work, one right after another. “Shh, my little bird. I’m here. It’s going to be fine.” I shook my head, doing my best to clear it. He was still there. “Romaine, how is this possible?” “It simply is. Don’t ask so many questions. You’re dying and will soon be dead if we don’t hurry.” “I can feel it.” “Then stop talking.” “How did you find me?” He glared. Clearly, I wasn’t good at taking directions, even under life and death circumstances. Yet, as frantic as I was to get free, I had questions. My blood, flecked with starlight, dripped from my veins. Magic flew from every splatter, hitting realms as it fell. I couldn’t even think about what that meant, how much magic was being unleashed. I could only focus on one thing. My would-be rescuer. It was easier than thinking about the other consequences. At least, that’s what I hoped he was. “Is Sophie or Anouk with you?” I asked feebly. “I came alone. Gallant, was it not?” he said, bowing elegantly at the waist. I gurgled in response. “Quite correct,” Romaine said, a little chirpy for my taste. “Very gallant. Now, let’s get you out of this thing, shall we?” My head nodded, everything twisting in front of my eyes. I couldn’t move. I could only watch the thick, jeweled liquid spill away. I stared at Romaine, my thoughts coalescing and disintegrating almost simultaneously. His face. It was harsher here, even in the dim, nebulous light of the shadow realm. More angular. And his fingers… They had no prints. No whorls or lines like chains, linking him to humanity. He was stripped to his bare essentials here in this place. My mouth opened slowly, deliberately. “You’re a demon.” Romaine didn’t look up from where he was examining my bonds. “That is something we’ll worry about when you’re not lighting up every realm in existence. Probably ones we don’t even know about yet. There really are too many to keep count.” “But that’s the only explanation. That’s what you told me. Only demons and dead things. Unless… are you a strigoi, too? But that can’t be, you’re not the seventh daughter. Right? Are you a seventh son?” “Bernadette, you’re babbling. Let’s focus on the most immediate problem. Freedom. I cringe to imagine how much magic is being unleashed this very moment. Even your world is already being affected, and we won’t know the implications until we’re back.” I blanched. “My world? Earth… is it changing?” “Hard to say where the drops have been flung or which realms they have touched. Again, focus, Bernadette. What happened? How were you locked into this contraption? Anything you can remember? Even the tiniest detail may help me free you.” “My father tried to drain my blood to make more magic. He told me about my birth, then he strapped me in. He was some sort of shadow himself. I just… it’s too much to take in. My brain can’t handle it.” “My little, wounded bird. If there is one thing you don’t have to account for in that fascinating brain of yours, it’s whether that thing was your father. It was a shadow demon using his image, abusing his memories, and manipulating your emotions.” “But how is that possible?” I asked, my voice soaked in hope. “I know a demon when I see one. More than likely, your real father was never here.” I recalled the pauses, the considerations. It wasn’t my father trying to remember