Fixing Emilee

FIXING EMILEE A. GREENE CONTENTS Authors Note Playlist Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Epilogue Acknowledgments About the Author Copyright © 2023 by A. Greene All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in book reviews. Cover by: Notorious Covers Edited by: Chrisandra at Chrisandra’s Corrections Formatted by: Leila Pullen at Indie Author’s Book Services AUTHORS NOTE Content & Trigger Warnings This story is not for the faint of heart. It deals with serious issues, if any of the listed topics are a trigger to you then this story is not for you. This story also contains some scenes that are steamy in nature and should not be read by someone under the age of eighteen. Extreme Bullying Past Self-Harm Mention of Suicide Attempt Mention of past sexual abuse of a minor (Stops before going into too much details) If you are someone you know is currently dealing with any of these issues do not hesitate to reach out for help. Asking for help does not make you weak, it shows how strong you are to know that you need help. DEDICATION The man who saved me many times. The man who loved me when I couldn’t love myself. The man who held me up when I didn’t have the strength to do it myself. The man who became my Dad when he didn’t have to. The man who was my hero. George N. Burnham Sr, my Dad, my hero, my savior, my Papa. I miss and love you more than all the letters in all the words in all the books in this world. I wish you were here to see all of this, but I carry you in my heart every day. PLAYLIST Letdown by Letdown Voices in My Head by Falling in Reverse Take Me Home by Jess Glynne Alive by Daughtry Best I Can by Art of Dying Falling Like The Stars by James Arthur You Are The Reason by Calum Scott Still Breathing Citizen Soldier I Could Get Used To This by Becky Hill, WEISS Unconditionally (Acoustic) by Flame on Fire Unsaid Emily by Julie and the Phantoms Cast Can You Hold Me by NF, Britt Nicole In Pieces by Citizen Soldier Perfectly Imperfect by Declan J Donovan God Damn You’re Beautiful by Chester See What’s Left of You by Chord Overstreet Dark Can Be Beautiful by Alec Chambers Say Goodbye by Citizen Soldier Warrior by Avril Lavigne Just Keep Breathing by We The Kings Wreckage by Nate Smith They Don’t Know About Us by One Direction Your Smile by Nathan Grisdale Spotify Playlist CHAPTER ONE I feel like I’m underwater, being dragged to the bottom. It’s hard to breathe, I’m freezing, and the sounds around me are muffled. I swear I hear someone talking to me, but I can’t make out what they are saying. “Emilee,” my name cuts through. “You can’t leave me.” Parker? No, it can’t be him. Why would he be here? He doesn’t care if I give into the darkness. Giving in sounds peaceful. Fighting against it’s pull is painful. I’ve dealt with enough pain lately. Ignoring the voice, I let go, letting the blackness consume me and pull me under. I’m free, genuinely free from everything. The sounds around me are relentless, getting louder and more precise. No, no. I don’t want this. Why did the darkness stop trying to pull me under? I don’t want to wake up. I can’t go back. “Emilee, can you hear us?” “Come on, open your eyes.” “Keep fighting. You can do it.” “Come back to your family. They need you.” Even though my eyelids are shut tightly, light is pushing through them. There’s a pounding in my head, so violent I’m sure it will split my skull open at any second. “Come on, open your eyes,” someone repeats. Don’t they know I don’t want to? That’s the opposite of what I’ve been trying to do today. I want to die, not live. My heart is beating so fast that it’s physically hurting my chest. I beg the darkness to come back and take me. My plea is answered as exhaustion rushes over me, and I’m pulled back into the quiet, peaceful bliss of the dark. It’s been two days since I regained consciousness in the back of the ambulance, flanked by two middle-aged men. Even though I was weak from the blood loss, I found enough energy to yell at them, telling them to give up on trying to stop the bleeding. I told them that my family hated me, and that it would all be better when I died. They just continued doing their job, trying to save me, telling me that it would get better, and that I didn’t mean what I was saying. I haven’t said a word to anyone in forty-eight hours. The last person who heard my voice was him, Parker, when I yelled at him to leave and never come back. After that, I shut my mouth and haven’t opened it once. I don’t see the point in answering anyone’s questions. Honestly, it’s always the same question, just phrased differently, a million times daily. What happened? Why was I cutting? Am I all right? I have the answers they are asking for, but I don’t want to give them to anyone. Since I’m not talking about what was happening, my grandparents have been going through my stuff to find the answers they want. I should feel bad about forcing them to go to extreme measures, but I can’t find a fuck inside me to give right now. My body aches every time