Meet Me Backstage


 Meet me Backstage
 Book 4 in the Arrowsmith High Series
 By
 MJ Ray
 Dedication
 A strange one this, but this time I dedicate this book to myself. As someone that has suffered from anxiety at an early age it really was a personal journey for me, writing this book and if you do suffer from this affliction, I hope this book helps you. 
 Meet Me Backstage
 (Arrowsmith High #4)
 Published by MJ Ray
 May 2022
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 This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the authors’ imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
 All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.
 Table of Contents
 Chapter One
 Chapter Two
 Chapter Three
 Chapter Four
 Chapter Five
 Chapter Six
 Chapter Seven
 Chapter Seven
 Chapter Eight
 Chapter Nine
 Chapter Ten
 Chapter Eleven
 Chapter Twelve
 Chapter Thirteen
 Chapter Fourteen
 Chapter Fifteen
 Chapter Sixteen
 Chapter Seventeen
 Chapter Eighteen
 Chapter Nineteen
 Chapter Twenty
 Chapter Twenty-One
 Chapter Twenty-Two
 Chapter Twenty-Three
 Chapter Twenty-Four
 Eplilogue
 
 
 
 
 Chapter One
 
 Heidi
 Why is my brain wired this way? My heart is thumping so hard it feels like it's in the back of my throat. 
 Come on, Heidi, deep breath in through the nose... out through your mouth... slow exhale. Just like you’ve done a million times. You can get a handle on this. 
 Whether or not talking to myself is healthy, it strangely helps. A panic attack because a boy spoke a few words, is bad, even for me!
 Oh god. Is he still talking?
 I glance at Ethan, the guy sitting next to me, rambling about this science project. Science is not something I care about, at all. Leaving is all I care about right now. My fingers move as though they’re on the strings of a guitar against the table; a calming technique of mine, memorising the actions and chords in my head.
 It starts working and my heart rate goes back to a healthy speed just as I hear Ethan say, “So, what do you think? Should we meet up?”
 We've been put into pairs - my worst nightmare. School is aware of my anxiety, but I didn't want any special consideration in class. That was my decision, but now, I'm kinda regretting it; now I’m paired with a boy... a good-looking one at that. He’s on the rugby team, and has thick dark unruly brown hair. Yeah, he's cute. It’s even worse when the cute ones try to talk to me. I just want to be left alone.
 I clear my throat. “Sure, I guess we could meet in the library at lunch one day?” My voice doesn't sound like my own, but I'm still proud I’m able to speak.
 He half-smirks to himself and shakes his head. “Sure, that’s fine. Next week we’ll organise a time for it.”
 The bell goes as I nod at him while keeping my eyes on my textbook. Eye contact is an impossibility. For me, looking at a boy is like trying to stare directly at the sun - don't do it or I’ll implode.
 I scramble to get my things together to get out as quickly as possible and get home.
 Everyone else rushes out, eager to start their weekends. Murmurs about the party go around. There is a party tonight happening at a club nearby. It’s a guy in our year, George; it's his birthday and his parents hired a room for the party. I’m sick of hearing about it, but I'm going with Harper and Sara and a few others. Crowds are fine, because I can blend in and stay hidden. It would come as a shock to half these people that I can't talk to them. They see what they want to see.
 Grateful that I only live ten minutes’ walk away from school, I step into the school courtyard and the sun hurts my eyes like I've been held underground all day. Rushing, I turn the corner towards the main exit and barrel into something... or someone. Crap, it's a someone. We collide, my bag dropping and the contents spilling on the floor. Seriously!
 I bend to pick them up as fast as I can. My serious stationery addiction is obvious looking at the contents. Most girls own makeup and perfume...but me? It’s highlighters, all types of nib pen, tape, glue, you name it with guitar picks thrown in there. The items in this bag are a window to my personality, and I’d prefer to keep it to myself. After picking up the last item, I look up to apologise and continue looking up and up. My blood runs cold. Please no. Not him, anyone but him. I’d recognise those legs anywhere.
 My voice stops in my throat as I go to speak. It is him. Cooper. The Cooper that I've had a secret crush on for the last two years and avoided. I usually just gaze at him from a distance. This is not a distance. He's inches away. Cooper is Ed’s twin. Ed is my friend’s boyfriend and the nicest, most easy-going guy you could meet. Cooper