Pitching Up in America!: A thoroughly entertaining read with a wonderful cast of charismatic characters in caravans. Captivating, and very, very funny. (Pitching Up! Book 4)

Pitching Up in America!Deborah Aubrey Copyright © 2023 Deborah AubreyAll rights reservedThe characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.ISBN-13: 9781234567890ISBN-10: 1477123456Cover design by: Art PainterLibrary of Congress Control Number: 2018675309Printed in the United States of America To Dave, the used-t’be cowboy we met in Las Vegas, and to Youtubers, TheLongLife, who helped me more than they’ll ever know xx CHAPTER ONEDAY 1The flight was incredibly long, the plane full to capacity. Four hours in, people started getting restless and began walking up and down the aisles. Brian was so wide he had to shuffle sideways, careful not to concuss anyone with his elbows on his way past, and was forced to enter the space at the back of the plane in order to have enough manoeuvring room to turn round without causing injury to anyone.“Captain’s going to make an announcement about the heavy load tilting the airplane to the left at any minute,” Mark sniggered. “Oh, no, he’s gone ‘to the other side’ and the plane’s tilting to the right.”Olivia gave a little giggle, despite herself. Even Faye smirked.After three laps of economy, Brian squeezed himself into the end seat of the middle section. He left his legs out in the aisle, hoping no one would notice and he could keep his blood supply going for a little longer, but then the flight attendant came down and asked him to put them in as he was blocking the gangway and it was against safety regulations. After he’d contorted himself fully into his seat, nudging Faye into near insanity and making the man in the seat in front turn round and tut several times, he managed to drag his legs in. His knees were up near his chest and he had to cross his arms over them to stop them hanging limply at his sides like an Orangutan. “Should have booked one o’ seats at front with more leg room,” he said to Faye. “I feel very foetal.”Faye sympathized with him, but she wasn’t having a fun ride of it either, having to sit at an uncomfortably acute angle in her seat to allow for the width of Brian’s shoulders, which in turn made Olivia, sitting next to her, lean sideways into the aisle. Behind them sat Sophie, Tel and Mark, who reached forward periodically to stroke Olivia’s arm and hold her hand. The instant the flight attendant had disappeared up the plane Brian tried turning again. The man in front hissed, “Can you stop moving, please!” and Brian had to stop, one leg out, one leg bent double in front of him. “Very squashed,” he squeaked.“Try watching a film,” Olivia suggested.“Can’t see the screen, there’s a bloody great leg in the way.”“Read a book,” said Mark.“How?”He fidgeted for a bit more, then prised himself out of his seat, saying, “I’m sorry, Faye, I have to do this.”“Do what, Bri? Bri?”Brian wriggled free with some effort and shuffled sideways up the aisle until he came to the front seats in economy.“What’s he doing?” Olivia asked.“Where’s he going?” said Tel.“He’s not going to throw himself out of the plane, is he?” Mark gasped.“Excuse me,” Brian boomed at the people sitting in the front middle seats. They stared up at him, startled to have the giant who’d been wandering like a crab around the plane address them directly. They all, Brian noticed with envy, had their legs stretched out luxuriously in front of them. “I will give any of you one ‘undred pounds in cash if y’let me have your seat f’rest of flight.”“Pounds aren’t much good to us Americans,” the man in the middle laughed. “Besides,” he added, languidly crossing his legs, “I’m perfectly happy where I am.”Brian looked at the man’s uncramped position and said, “One hundred pounds for one hour then?”The man laughed and shook his head, as did the passengers either side of him.“I’ll do it,” said a man in the right section.Brian turned awkwardly and looked at the space in front of the right-side man, noticed it wasn’t as much as those in the middle aisle, and said, “Let me try it first.”The man got up and negotiated his way around the giant. Brian sat down, nudging the woman in the next seat with his shoulder. He stretched out his legs, not as far as the middle aisle but at least his knees weren’t under his chin. “Fifty pounds for two hours,” he said.The man shook his head, “Nah, you said ‘undred for an hour.”“The middle aisle has more leg room.”“’Undred or nuffink, makes no odds to me, mate.”“Brian!” Faye cried.“Shush, woman, I’m negotiating my own survival. Hundred for two hours?”“Yer on.”The woman next to him whined, “I don’t want a complete stranger sitting next to me, Martin!”“They don’t come any stranger than Brian,” Mark laughed, as the man said, “’Undred extra spending money, innit, love.”Brian pulled out his wallet and handed over a wad of cash. Then he leaned back into his seat and the whole plane heard his heavy sigh of contentment. The man came and sat next to Faye. He nodded once, plugged in his headphones, stared at the TV screen in front of him, and didn’t utter a single word for two whole hours.Brian, however, regaled the woman sitting next to him and those within earshot with tales of Yorkshire, about their escapades on a Cotswold campsite, and why they were headed for the bright lights of Las Vegas. Faye kept raising her eyes from the film in front of her when Brian’s laughter or the women’s high-pitched tittering cut through her headphones. To distract herself, she turned and pushed her head between the headrests to look at the others in