The Other Mothers

For Emma and Maddie Contents Cover Half-title Page Title Page Dedication Page Contents TASH London Evening Post, 21 November 2017 TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH TASH TASH TASH TASH SOPHIE’S IPHONE 5S TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH Introduction to Child Psychology for Early Years Professionals, p. 162 TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS A NOTE ON THE AUTHOR Copyright Page TASH London Evening Post, 21 November 2017 TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH TASH TASH TASH TASH SOPHIE’S IPHONE 5S TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH Introduction to Child Psychology for Early Years Professionals, p. 162 TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH TASH TASH TASH SOPHIE TASH SOPHIE ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS A NOTE ON THE AUTHOR i ii iii v vi 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 TASH North Cornwall police station April 2019 We meet in a room with no windows in a town of pebble-dash houses, a high street pockmarked with boards and bookmakers’ shops. They have taken me inland, to the nearest station, I assume. Here there is no crash of waves, no call of birds. No cheery stripe of blue peeping out from behind rooftops. In the car on the drive down here, Tom and I had made a game of it for Finn. First one to spot the sea. I had seen it first, though I kept quiet to let Finn be the winner. Seeing that sapphire ribbon stretched across the horizon, my heart had lifted, despite everything. At the promise of a holiday. Days on the beach building forts and castles. Finn’s feet making perfect prints in the wet sand of the bay. I wondered if they might handcuff me, but they didn’t. They seemed almost apologetic, the officers in the car. They kept asking if I was cold, if I would like a window open, a drink of water. I shook my head, tried to focus on the landscape outside the windows. I wanted to find a landmark, a place I knew. But I couldn’t. And the further we got from the coast, the more unfamiliar it became. They opened the door for me when we arrived, offered me a hand, but I stepped out on my own. Overhead, the cold sky, speckled with a swirling milk froth of stars, was so beautiful I’d actually caught my breath. We never see stars in London. I had a sudden sense that I was, only now, seeing things the way they really were. And that I, too, was finally being seen. Now we are inside the room. It’s just me and Detective Pascoe, a grey, wipe-clean rectangle of table between us. His colleague, Williams, said she would go and get some tea. She said it like tea was the answer to my problems. When I look down, I see there is a dark smear of blood on the cuff of my jumper. I find my voice is weak, like something far away. ‘You are looking, aren’t you? You need to look. On the cliffs. He fell, but maybe he’s still …’ My mind forms the next few words, but I find my mouth