We're Gonna Be Okay

Copyright © 2023 by June MakayCover art by Alexandra Fairfield All rights reserved. No part of this publication ay be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law. For permission requests, contact [email protected]. The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places. Buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred. You mistake silence for happiness… and that’s how I knew we’d never be okay. Chapter 1 March ninth will be a day I will always remember. The day I left a seven year relationship and lost half of my time with my kids. It’s been one month since then, and I’m still not adjusted to them being gone. I dropped them off with their father yesterday, and have been moping around the house since. When everyday of the last seven years revolved around being with your children constantly, you just can’t function right without them. My whole routine has been shaped by my girls, Alice and Violet. Now, there’s three and half days every week that I don’t have them. I should be taking advantage of the time and getting work done, but I just miss them so much. Spring has barely settled in and the lingering cold from winter is fitting for how cold I feel without them. It’s going to do me no good moping. I get them back in just two and half days. Maybe I’ll go out for a bit. Try to get my mind off things. I’ve never been a social person, but anything is better than laying in bed wishing my girls were cuddling with me. I head into my closet and pull a black, long sleeved blouse off its hanger. I’m still in my jeans and they’re good enough. I pull on little black booties and put my hair into a low bun. I’ll just go for a quick drink, get my mind off things and when I get back I can rest and hopefully start tomorrow off better. I glance at my bedroom mirror, hating the vacant brown eyes staring back at me. I leave my room determined to get through this bump the same way I’ve gotten through everything life has thrown at me, false bravado and ignoring all of my problems until I can’t anymore. I swipe my keys and purse from the coffee table in the living room and kill the lights as I leave my house. It’s the same house I’ve had for the past five years. A purchase I had made with the image of my family’s future in mind. Images of a future that no longer exists. It’s decent enough in size with five bedrooms and two and a half bathrooms. One of the extra rooms is now empty, no longer the office of my ex. Even though I ended the relationship, he’s the one that left. We weren’t married and the house is in my name. It wouldn’t have mattered anyways. He didn’t want to stay somewhere he would see me everyday. Not that I really wanted him to either. Shaking the thoughts from my head, I get in my car and pull out of the driveway. I’m only heading 10 minutes out of town to Jim’s Bar and Grill. It’s not as intense as a club, and it’s more remote. A good spot when you don’t want to be bothered by others. It helps that I know Jim and feel more comfortable in his place of business. I park my car and I’m glad that I only see a few others in the parking lot, along with a couple motorcycles. A lot of traffic that’s just passing through stops here for a quick bite or drink before they turn in for the night or head back out on the road. Inside, the place is split in half but still manages a cohesive feel. To the left are booths and tables with a counter and kitchen past them. To the right is an open area; a bar situated against the far right wall. Pool tables and small tables are spread throughout. All the way to the back is a small stage. Sometimes Jim has local bands or singers perform, though it’s not often. Occasionally people participate in karaoke, but that’s even less often. Usually, there’s just music playing from the speaker system. I swing right, heading for the bar and pop onto a stool. “Ava! All grown up!” Jim sings as he stands in front of me on the other side of the bar. “Jim. How have you been?” I ask him with a smile. I was probably 18 the last time I saw him. “Been good. Ain’t seen your mom round in a while. You speak to her?” “Nah. You know I haven’t spoken to my family since I turned 18 and moved out.” “I’m sorry you had to go through that. What can I get ya?” His eyes soften and I wipe the sad smile off my face. I’m really begging to put myself through the ringer aren’t I? “Uhm, maybe a cosmopolitan. You know I’ve never liked alcohol. The internet told me the taste wasn’t too bad.” I shrug my shoulders. I’ve never been a fan of drinking. I hate the taste and I hate the loss of control. This is actually my first time ordering a drink even though I turned 27 two weeks ago. “Coming right up.” I pull my phone out of my purse while I wait. No text updates, no missed calls, nothing. I blow out a breath and sit my phone face down as Jim places the drink in front of me. I give him a thanks before he disappears, tending to others I’m sure. I take a hesitant sip. I can taste the alcohol; I always