The Problem With Pretending

Table of Contents
 
 THE PROBLEM WITH PRETENDING
 AUTHOR'S NOTE
 ABOUT THE BOOK
 CHAPTER ONE – GRACE
 CHAPTER TWO – GRACE
 CHAPTER THREE – GRACE
 CHAPTER FOUR – WILLIAM
 CHAPTER FIVE – GRACE
 CHAPTER SIX – GRACE
 CHAPTER SEVEN – GRACE
 CHAPTER EIGHT – WILLIAM
 CHAPTER NINE – GRACE
 CHAPTER TEN – GRACE
 CHAPTER ELEVEN – GRACE
 CHAPTER TWELVE – WILLIAM
 CHAPTER THIRTEEN – GRACE
 CHAPTER FOURTEEN – GRACE
 CHAPTER FIFTEEN – GRACE
 CHAPTER SIXTEEN – GRACE
 CHAPTER SEVENTEEN – WILLIAM
 CHAPTER EIGHTEEN – GRACE
 CHAPTER NINETEEN – GRACE
 CHAPTER TWENTY – GRACE
 CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE – GRACE
 CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO – WILLIAM
 CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE – GRACE
 CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR – GRACE
 CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE – GRACE
 CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX – WILLIAM
 CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN – WILLIAM
 CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT – GRACE
 CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE – GRACE
 CHAPTER THIRTY – GRACE
 CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE – GRACE
 CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO – WILLIAM
 CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE – GRACE
 CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR – GRACE
 CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE – GRACE
 CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX – GRACE
 CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN – GRACE
 EPILOGUE – GRACE
 THE END
 ABOUT THE AUTHOR
 BOOKS BY EMMA HART
 THE PROBLEM WITH PRETENDING By Emma Hart Copyright © Emma Hart, 2023 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. Cover Design by Emma Hart Author’s Note Locations, family names, and noble titles in Emma Hart’s Aristoverse are entirely fictional and are not related to any real-life dukedoms, families, or in the case of this book, Scottish clans. Any crossover to real-life locations, noble titles, and family names is purely coincidental. This fictional universe co-exists with real life places such as Cambridge and Oxford and real-life people, such as the British Royal Family. ABOUT THE BOOK Literally colliding with the hottest guy in the world and agreeing to be his date to his sister’s wedding? Done… for some reason. Finding out he’s actually an aristocrat and will one day inherit an ancient Scottish dukedom and castle? Yep, that’s a surprise. Sharing a bed with him at said castle because his family thinks I’m his girlfriend? Okay, I’m sure I’ll survive. Even if he does make my heart pitter-patter and my lady bits—uh, never mind. Dealing with his family feud, his bridezilla sister, and his grandma’s gobby cockatiel who fancies himself the castle alarm system? It’s… well, it’s… something. Oh, and a snowstorm, keeping my real identity a secret, trying to figure out where the heck I know the Glenroch family from, and why his mum keeps looking at me weirdly? Yeah, that I’ll need some help with… CHAPTER ONE – GRACE The Dramas of Dating “He stuck it in my arse.” I paused with my fingers hovering over the keyboard of my laptop and slowly raised my gaze from my dissertation I was working on to where my best friend was staring at me. “I’m sorry… What?” Amber slammed her keys on the coffee table and met my gaze. “He stuck his penis up my bum.” “No, no, I got that bit,” I replied, letting my hands settle on my laptop. “Also, hello.” She sighed, throwing herself onto the sofa and almost knocking over my bottle of water in the process of putting her feet up on the coffee table. “The date didn’t go well, then?” I asked, glancing at the time. “Despite it going on all night.” And her wearing the same clothes she’d left in sixteen hours ago. If looks could kill, Amber would be on the hook for murder. “Grace!” “What? I was only asking.” I blinked. “Also, did you close the front door?” “Did I not slam it hard enough for you?” “I didn’t know if Mrs. Johanssen, four houses down, heard you or not, so I thought I ought to check.” “Grace! You’re my best friend. Aren’t you supposed to offer me some advice?” “Sorry, Amb. I’m not really sure what to reply to an accidental dick in the arse except offering you some Vaseline,” I replied honestly. “Of all my dating fails, I can’t say I’ve ever been as unfortunate as that.” Amber stared at me, and she blinked so emphatically that one of her false eyelashes came free from the glue and peeled away from her eyelid. “You’ve got a little…” I touched the tip of my nail to my eye and lightly tapped. She winced and peeled it off. “Better?” “Not really. Now I feel like I’m talking to half a bird.” “For God’s sake.” She carefully removed the other eyelash—that was obviously applied yesterday—and dropped them in an empty mug on the coffee table. “Is that better?” “I’d prefer you put them in the bin as opposed to my tea mug, but I suppose it isn’t worse,” I replied, manually saving my essay. “How did he put it in your arse?” Amber blinked at me. “I’m never doing it doggy style again.” That explained quite a bit. “Ah. But still, how don’t they know? Surely the resistance is a dead giveaway. I mean, it goes from wet and ready to…” “Putting a bowling ball in a buttonhole?” “Slightly more drastic a descriptor than I was initially going for, but I suppose it works.” I shrugged and saved my document again to make sure, then put my laptop on the table. “I guess you won’t be seeing him again, then.” “What gave it away?” “I don’t know. I mean, it is lunchtime. Is he that bad if you’ve been with him that long?” “We didn’t get back to his place until two in the morning. I tried calling you after the terrible